By Chip Byteley
An overly ambitious influencer learned a harsh lesson about cultural respect and the limitations of the phrase “Do it for the ‘Gram.” 22-year-old Ashley, known online as @AdventureAshley (with a dishearteningly low follower count), embarked on her “Egyptian Extravaganza” with a single goal: snag a selfie so epic it would break the internet and launch her into the influencer stratosphere. However, her chosen backdrop wasn’t a pristine beach or trendy cafe, but the ancient pyramids of Giza.
“I envisioned myself, hair blowing dramatically in the desert wind, atop the Great Pyramid,” Ashley gushed to baffled Egyptian authorities following her arrest. “It was the ultimate #wanderlust shot!”
What Ashley failed to consider were minor details like the fact that scaling the pyramids is strictly prohibited, highly disrespectful, and, turns out, surprisingly well-guarded. Her ascent ended abruptly halfway up, as a chorus of outraged shouts and security whistles pierced the desert air. The resulting “epic” photos were far less glamorous than Ashley had hoped – a blurry image of her mid-scramble, face contorted in alarm, followed by a view of dusty sandals and startled security guards. Her final photo documented the decidedly un-luxurious interior of an Egyptian jail cell.
Predictably, Ashley’s pyramid stunt went viral, but not in the way she intended. Instead of awe, she was met with a tsunami of online mockery. Comments like “And the award for dumbest influencer of the year goes to…” and “Maybe try respecting other cultures instead of using them as your personal photo booth? #CluelessTourist” flooded the internet.
The Egyptian government was equally unimpressed, promptly deporting Ashley and permanently banning her from ever returning. Her influencer dreams further crumbled when several brands hastily canceled potential sponsorships, not wanting to be associated with someone so clearly lacking in judgment.
Ashley’s cautionary tale spread through the influencer community. While some dismissed her as an anomaly, others began to worry about the trend of chasing virality at any cost. “Likes don’t absolve you from basic decency,” warned a veteran travel blogger.
As for Ashley, she retreated from the online world, her once-vibrant social media accounts eerily silent. Perhaps she’s reassessing her priorities, or maybe just plotting her next ill-conceived scheme for internet notoriety. One thing’s for sure: those pyramids aren’t going anywhere, but with any luck, her brand of disrespectful ‘influencing’ will.
Liv N. Large 
Polly Tickle