By Polly Tickle
In what is being hailed as the most delicious mistake in political history, President Joe Biden, in an attempt to order a late-night snack from Uber Eats, accidentally signed off on an executive order cancelling $5 billion in student debt. The mix-up, which has left White House staff both jubilant and famished, is already making rounds on the internet as the “Best Misorder in America.”
According to inside sources, the President was using his smartphone to order a meal, but a series of unfortunate taps led him to a pre-drafted executive order on his desk instead. Before anyone could realize the error, the order was signed, sealed, and delivered into law, effectively erasing billions in student loans.
While financial analysts and student advocacy groups are in a frenzy of celebration, the culinary disappointment in the White House is palpable. “We were expecting burgers and fries, not fiscal policy changes,” lamented one staffer.
The satirical church of Crustianity quickly took to social media to comment on the situation, with posts like, “When trying to order heavenly pizza leads to a divine act of debt forgiveness #BidenEats #AccidentalAbsolution.” The Crustian Church is even planning a celebratory ‘Pizza for the People’ event in honor of the gaffe.
Political commentators are having a field day with the incident, with one pundit joking, “Who knew that hunger pangs could lead to economic relief for millions?” The incident has sparked a host of memes, gifs, and satirical articles, turning the situation into an overnight internet sensation.
Despite the error, the Biden administration is reportedly embracing the accidental policy change. “While it wasn’t the intended order of the night, the President is pleased to bring some relief to students across the nation,” said a White House spokesperson. Meanwhile, efforts to actually order dinner from Uber Eats are being redoubled, with extra attention to ensure no more national debt is accidentally wiped out in the process.
Liv N. Large