By Polly Tickle
Lisbon, Portugal – In a move that has left cartographers and geographers scratching their heads, Portugal’s far-right party, Chega, has officially proposed the construction of a massive wall along Portugal’s border. However, in a geographical blunder of epic proportions, the party has declared the primary purpose of the wall is to deter Mexican immigrants, a group roughly 9,000 kilometers (or about 5,600 miles) away from the European nation.
As part of its increasingly bold political agenda, the far-right party Chega unveiled plans for what could only be described as one of the most ambitious, if not geographically challenged, projects in recent European history. The proposed wall, intended to span the entirety of Portugal’s border, has been justified on the grounds of preventing Mexican immigration—a concern that has left many puzzled, given the vast Atlantic Ocean lying snugly between Mexico and Portugal.
André Ventura, Chega’s leader known for his flamboyant rhetoric, unveiled the proposal at a recent party rally in Lisbon. Waving a globe for dramatic effect, Ventura appeared to struggle with the concept of continents, but his enthusiasm was undeterred. “It’s high time we put an end to this,” Ventura proclaimed, pointing vaguely in the direction he believed Mexico to be. “Our Portuguese heritage is under threat from all directions, even transatlantically!”
Critics have been quick to mock the proposal, with one geography professor humorously offering to donate atlases to the entire Chega party. Meanwhile, Mexican officials responded with bewilderment. Mexico’s Foreign Minister was quoted saying, “We had to check a map to make sure Portugal wasn’t a new state in the U.S. we hadn’t heard about. Rest assured, our citizens are perfectly content where they are, far away from whatever is happening in Chega’s imagination.”
The logistics of building such a wall raise numerous questions, not least of which is its proposed route. When pressed for details, a Chega spokesperson suggested the wall would follow the “natural contours” of Portugal’s borders, seemingly unaware that the country’s only land border is with Spain. This revelation has sparked a frenzy on social media, with users humorously suggesting Spain might actually welcome the wall, if only to avoid being mistaken for Mexico.