Global Corporations Celebrate International Women’s Day by Giving Female Employees 23% Off Work Emails

In a display of corporate feminism that’s as insulting as it is mathematically infuriating, multinational corporations are marking International Women’s Day with a special offer: female employees can enjoy a 23% discount on work emails.

The initiative, apparently conceived in a boardroom fueled by delusion and a baffling lack of PR awareness, aims to “reduce inbox overload” for women and is a nod to the persistent 23% gender wage gap that exists globally.

“We’re empowering women!” claimed one CEO who will definitely not be getting a holiday card from his female staff. “Instead of working harder for less pay, think of all the personal emails you can now write!”

Predictably, the response has been less than enthusiastic. “Are you serious?” fumes Sarah Salaried, an executive assistant drowning in a sea of meeting requests. “Instead of addressing actual wage inequality, they want me to send fewer ‘thank you for mansplaining’ emails? Groundbreaking!”

Social media is a firestorm of sarcasm and outrage. Hashtags like #23PercentOffCondescendingReplies and #DoesThisApplyToPassiveAggressiveCCs are gaining traction. Memes mocking corporations’ pathetic attempts at celebrating women proliferate. HR departments everywhere have collectively developed a nervous twitch.

Surprisingly, a few are trying to spin this disaster into a positive. “It’s the thought that counts?” offers one hopelessly optimistic marketing intern. Meanwhile, a group of women are cleverly leveraging the discount, bombarding their male colleagues with 23% more questions, requests for clarification, and pointedly worded emails highlighting pay disparity statistics.

The long-term impact of this PR fiasco remains to be seen. Will corporations finally get serious about addressing the gender pay gap, or will next International Women’s Day see offers like “50% off tolerating workplace microaggressions?”

Perhaps the most optimistic outcome is that this insulting attempt at celebration sparks a long-overdue conversation. A conversation that focuses not on discounted work emails, but on achieving true equality in the workplace, one where women’s contributions are valued and their paychecks reflect that. But don’t hold your breath waiting for that particular email.