MTG Proposes Ban on Balloons: “They’re Just Chinese Spy Unicorns in Disguise”
Polly TickleWashington D.C. – In a move that has left both party planners and national security experts bewildered, firebrand congresswoman Marjorie…
Read MoreRepublicans Mistakenly Believes “Deepfake” Politician Is a Refreshing Change from the Usual Liars
In an era where trust in political figures wanes and digital technology reaches unprecedented heights, a nation has found itself…
Read MoreCanada’s Timing Impeccable as Ever: Ceasing Arms Exports to Israel in a Masterclass of Procrastination
Chip ByteleyIn an unparalleled display of impeccable timing, Canada has finally decided to cease its arms exports to Israel, not in…
Read MoreIn a Twist of Fate, Uncle Sam Swaps Hats: From Roadblock to Peacemaker in Gaza”
In a move as predictable as a plot twist in a daytime soap opera, the United States, previously the lone…
Read MoreFar-Right Party Chega Floats Portugal Wall Idea, Aims To Keep Away Mexicans
Lisbon, Portugal – In a move that has left cartographers and geographers scratching their heads, Portugal’s far-right party, Chega, has…
Read MoreRacial Equality Achieved for 24 Hours: World Agrees to Annual ‘Be Decent Human Beings’ Day
In a move that surprised even the most optimistic cynics, the entire world participated in a 24-hour experiment in racial…
Read MoreChinese Investment in Education Soars After Discovering Students Can Be Taught to Mine Bitcoin
In a move that would make Confucius raise an eyebrow, China’s education system is undergoing a dramatic shift. Forget rote…
Read MoreWorld Poetry Day Sees Historic Peace Treaty Signed Between Rhyming and Free Verse Poets
In a move that stunned the literary world, a peace treaty officially ending the centuries-long battle between rhyming and free…
Read MoreFinnish Ice Hockey Teams to Swap Sticks for Lightsabers, Aiming for a More ‘Enlightened’ Game
In a move that seems ripped from a space opera script, the notoriously aggressive Finnish Ice Hockey League has announced…
Read MorePAX East Unveils ‘Survival Mode’ Entrance: Only Those Who Can Craft a Ticket from Raw Materials Get In
BOSTON, MA – In a move that has simultaneously shocked and delighted hardcore gamers, PAX East has just announced a…
Read MorePAX East to Feature Live NPC Training Seminar: How to Repeat Yourself Without Going Insane
Get ready to level up your NPC skills! PAX East, the renowned gaming convention, is venturing into uncharted territory with…
Read MoreSix Nations: Seeking Volunteers to Explain the Rules to Americans
American Newbies Watch, But Who Can Explain the Rules? The annual Six Nations rugby tournament is upon us, and the…
Read MoreEurope’s Newest Import: The Full-Scale War Experience
Europe, the land of charming cobblestone streets, fine wines, and centuries-old cathedrals, has always been a top travel destination. But…
Read MoreKenyan Cops Pack for Haitian “Vacation”: UN’s Latest Anti-Gang Initiative Sparks New Fashion Trend in Body Armor Beachwear
The beaches of Haiti were just expecting the usual tide of tourists. Instead, they’re about to receive a surge of…
Read MoreWorld’s First Underwater Internet Cafe Opens, Promises Truly ‘Deep Web’ Experience
Forget crowded coffee shops with spotty Wi-Fi; ocean enthusiasts now have the ultimate distraction-free workspace. Nestled amongst the coral reefs…
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