Settler Movement Proposes Annexation of Wyoming: “Plenty of Open Space, Could Use Some More Chutzpah”

JERUSALEM –  In a move with echoes of the Wild West (and an unsettling dose of modern realpolitik), a prominent right-wing settler movement has proposed the annexation of the US state of Wyoming.  The plan, championed by the “Promised Land Initiative” (PLI), envisions establishing a new Israeli settlement block amidst the pristine wilderness and geysers.

“Wyoming is ripe for development,” declared PLI spokesperson, Yael Ben-Ezra, at a press conference punctuated by the waving of miniature Wyoming and Israeli flags.  “Wide open spaces, a rugged spirit… it practically begs for a few mini-malls, some well-managed suburbs, and a touch of what made Israel great: chutzpah!”

The PLI’s plan, audacious even by their standards, has been met with a mixture of bewilderment, fury, and grudging admiration in both the US and Israel.  Wyoming Governor Buck Hankerson, known for his colorful vocabulary, responded with a string of expletives and a promise to defend his state with “every rifle-toting, bison-loving citizen we got.”

US State Department officials issued a strongly-worded condemnation, while the UN Security Council convened an emergency session (mostly out of a bewildered sense of curiosity).  Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu attempted to distance himself from the settlers, but privately, sources say, he chuckled and asked for the PLI’s market analysis on Wyoming real estate.

The PLI remains undeterred, citing a Biblical mandate for expansion alongside practical benefits.  Their brochures depict settlers in Stetsons wrangling herds of camels, Yellowstone reimagined as a kosher dude ranch, and Old Faithful geyser conveniently erupting in time with Shabbat.

Social media is ablaze with a mixture of outrage and absurdist humor. #WyomingAnnexation is trending alongside photoshopped images of bison sporting yarmulkes, and duels between settlers and cowboys fought with falafel balls.