By Polly Tickle
World leaders have collectively unveiled their latest strategy to combat climate change: simply waiting for the next Ice Age. This groundbreaking plan, described as “long-term thinking at its finest,” suggests that all current efforts to reduce carbon emissions and transition to renewable energy might be unnecessary, provided everyone is patient enough.
A Cool Approach to Global Warming
The rationale behind this chilly strategy is simple, according to a spokesperson from the newly formed International Committee for Ice Age Anticipation (ICIAA). “Why invest billions in solar panels and wind turbines when a perfectly good Ice Age is just around the corner?” asked the spokesperson, seemingly unfazed by the fact that “just around the corner” is scientifically estimated to be tens of thousands of years away.
Skeptics Left Out in the Cold
Critics of the plan have been quick to point out the flaws in this glacially paced approach. Climate scientists, in particular, have raised alarms about the impracticality of betting humanity’s future on a distant Ice Age. “It’s like burning down your house because you’re expecting a snowstorm to put out the fire,” commented one exasperated climatologist, struggling to keep their composure.
Polar Politics and Frosty Finances
Political analysts have speculated that the Ice Age strategy may also be a convenient way for leaders to avoid making unpopular decisions that could affect their economies in the short term. “It’s the ultimate kick-the-can-down-the-road approach,” observed one analyst, noting the ironic twist of using future ice to freeze current policy initiatives.
Public Reaction: A Mix of Icy Indifference and Heated Debate
The public reaction to the world leaders’ Ice Age plan has ranged from icy indifference to heated debate. On one hand, some citizens have embraced the idea, with Ice Age parties and themed merchandise popping up in a show of support. On the other hand, environmental activists have ramped up their efforts, arguing that waiting for an Ice Age is not a viable climate strategy and urging immediate action to mitigate the effects of global warming.
A Frigid Future?
As the debate rages on, the world waits to see whether this Ice Age plan will gain traction or melt away under the scrutiny of science and public opinion. In the meantime, the ICIAA has announced plans for an international conference, tentatively titled “Chill Out 2024,” where world leaders will discuss the logistics of their frosty strategy in more detail.
Liv N. Large 
Chip Byteley