By Chip Byteley
The beloved video game franchise Assassin’s Creed has announced its latest and most groundbreaking instalment yet: Assassin’s Creed: Gaza. Giving the world it’s first look at the city Israel will soon build in the former Palestinian territory. In a bold move, the developers have declared they will no longer delve into the annals of history for their game settings, as the present times are deemed far more barbaric and ripe for exploration.
Ubisoft’s Creative Leap: A Satirical Masterstroke
Ubisoft, the franchise’s developer, has long been praised for its meticulous historical research and the ability to transport players to pivotal moments in history. However, they’ve now taken a creative leap that has both fans and critics buzzing with anticipation and disbelief, tackling the present and future.
The game’s director, Ivanna Leapintime, stated in a faux press release, “Why look back when the present is a goldmine of chaos? We’ve found that the ancient assassins had it easy. Today’s world, with its blend of digital surveillance, global politics, and unabated social media warfare, presents a far greater challenge for our creed.”
Assassin’s Creed: Gaza – A Tongue-in-Cheek Take on Modern Times
Assassin’s Creed: Gaza thrusts players into the heart of a new Gaza that mirrors the complexity and brutality of our current world. The game’s protagonist, a descendant of the Muslin brotherhood, must navigate through a city that is a labyrinth of ancient ruins and ultra-modern skyscrapers, using both traditional weapons and cutting-edge technology, to find any final memories of the old city.
In this satirical rendition, players will engage in espionage that spans the digital and the physical. Missions include hacking into government databases, using drones for surveillance, and combating misinformation campaigns on social media platforms—all while donning the iconic hood and cloak.
Features to Look Forward To:
- Digital Battleground: Engage in fierce debates and misinformation campaigns, where your weapon is your wit, and your shield is your critical thinking skills.
- Modern Arsenal: Alongside the hidden blade, wield smartphones, drones, and other gadgets as you navigate the urban jungle.
- Historical Cameos: Encounter historical figures who’ve time-traveled to the present day, offering side missions that blend past and present in absurd, yet thought-provoking scenarios.
The Satirical Edge: A Commentary on Modern Barbarism
At its core, Assassin’s Creed: Gaza is a satirical commentary on the state of the world. The game jests at how modern society, for all its technological advancements, still grapples with the same issues of power, corruption, and resistance that have plagued humanity throughout history.
Ubisoft’s fictional spokesperson, Lira Pulltheleg, humorously remarked, “We realized that the past is no match for the present’s savagery. Plus, we’ve pretty much covered all of history at this point. It was either this or Assassin’s Creed: Stone Age, and frankly, we couldn’t find a way to make fire-starting and mammoth hunting exciting for 40 hours.”
Conclusion: A Game That Mirrors Our World
Assassin’s Creed: Gaza is a mirror to our world, a satirical exploration of the absurdity and barbarism of our times, disguised as entertainment. It challenges players not just to explore the in-game world but to reflect on the parallels in our reality, all while providing the thrilling gameplay and historical intrigue fans love.
As this fictional game blurs the lines between past and present, it invites players to question: Has humanity really progressed, or are we just ancient assassins in a modern playground?
Polly Tickle 
Liv N. Large