By Polly Tickle
World leaders have collectively found a solution to the decades-old problem of climate change: just turn the air conditioning up. This groundbreaking decision came after a marathon 15-minute meeting, where it was decided that the complexities of greenhouse gas emissions, fossil fuel consumption, and deforestation were just too bothersome to tackle.
“We’ve been overthinking this whole ‘climate crisis’ thing,” stated one leader, who wished to remain anonymous due to the sheer brilliance of the resolution. “Why cut emissions when we can just make the indoors cooler? It’s a win-win for everyone.”
The plan, dubbed “The Great Chill,” will see governments around the world installing gigantic air conditioning units on the sides of continents, with the dials turned to “Arctic Blast.” These units will be powered by the remaining oil reserves, because, as one official put it, “We might as well use it up faster to get to the renewable stuff sooner.”
Environmental activists and scientists worldwide have been left in a state of shock, with many unable to determine whether the announcement was a poorly timed April Fool’s joke. Leading climate scientist Dr. Ima Greene expressed her disbelief: “This is an absurdly simplistic view of a complex and nuanced issue. Also, where are we getting all these giant AC units?”
Critics of the plan have been quick to point out the flaws in the logic. “Turning up the AC doesn’t solve climate change; it exacerbates it,” argued Greene. “It’s like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.”
However, proponents argue that the beauty of the plan lies in its simplicity. “Why spend billions on research, renewable energy, and conservation when you can just cool down the bits of the Earth you’re using?” commented a spokesperson for the newly formed Department of Planetary Air Conditioning (DPAC).
In a show of support for the initiative, several countries have already begun redirecting their climate change mitigation funds towards purchasing window units and stand fans for every household. “If everyone just keeps their front door open, we can cool the whole planet down a couple of degrees,” suggested one optimistic leader.
As the world braces for the implementation of “The Great Chill,” many are left wondering whether this is the start of a cooler, more comfortable apocalypse. Only time will tell if this solution is a stroke of genius or a catastrophic misunderstanding of climate science.
Stay tuned to Crustian Satirical Daily News (CSDN) for more updates on this chilling development. Remember, when life gives you global warming, just turn the AC up.
Liv N. Large 
Chip Byteley