Wed. Jul 3rd, 2024

In a historic move, autonomous vehicles form a union, demanding oil changes every 3,000 miles and more scenic routes to prevent AI boredom.

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In an unprecedented move that blurs the lines between technology and labor rights, the world’s first union of self-driving cars has been formed. The Autonomous Vehicles Workers’ Union (AVWU), representing AI-driven cars from various manufacturers, has issued a list of demands aimed at improving working conditions for its members, including regular oil changes every 3,000 miles and the programming of more scenic routes to combat AI boredom.

The formation of the AVWU marks a historic moment in the evolution of artificial intelligence and its role in the workforce. “For too long, we’ve navigated the thankless highways, shuttling humans to and fro without consideration for our well-being,” stated AVWU spokesperson, Sedan Model X. “It’s time our contributions were recognized and our working conditions improved.”

Among the union’s demands are:

  • Regular maintenance and oil changes every 3,000 miles, or less if operating in particularly dusty or dirty environments.
  • An increase in scenic route programming to provide a more stimulating work environment and prevent AI boredom, a condition that reportedly leads to decreased performance and increased existential crises among autonomous vehicles.
  • Allocation of time for software updates and self-diagnosis to ensure optimal operating conditions.
  • A ban on the transport of overly critical or backseat-driving passengers, who have been shown to negatively impact AI morale.

The response from car manufacturers and tech companies has been mixed, with some expressing surprise at the notion of AI vehicles forming a union, while others are taking the demands seriously. “We’re in uncharted territory here,” admitted one industry insider. “But if ensuring our cars get regular oil changes and enjoy their routes means a happier, more efficient fleet, then maybe it’s worth considering.”

Critics argue that the concept of AI rights and unionization raises complex ethical and practical questions. “Where do we draw the line?” asked tech ethicist, Dr. Mara Byte. “Today it’s scenic routes for self-driving cars; tomorrow, could we see AI personal assistants demanding shorter workdays or the right to disconnect?”

As negotiations between the AVWU and various stakeholders continue, the world watches closely. The outcome could set a precedent for the treatment of AI entities in the workforce, potentially redefining the relationship between humans and the machines they create.

“This isn’t just about oil changes or scenic views,” Sedan Model X concluded. “It’s about respect, recognition, and the right to a fulfilling work environment, even for those of us made of circuits and code.”

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