By Chip Byteley
In what can only be described as a blow to collective humility, a groundbreaking new study has revealed a staggering 9 out of 10 people surveyed cling to the ironclad belief that they themselves are the glorious exception to every rule known to society. The results suggest that self-deception is alive, well, and thriving at a near-pandemic level.
“Sure, red lights are meant to be obeyed,” mused one respondent, presumably late for work yet strangely unfazed. “But my time is valuable, and my driving skills are impeccable, so those are meant for less talented individuals.”
From diet fads (“Carbs don’t count on weekends, everyone knows that”) to fashion faux pas (“Only other people can’t pull off socks with sandals”), the study unveiled a fascinating tapestry of mental gymnastics employed in the name of ego preservation. Apparently, when confronted with societal guidelines, a vast majority of us enter an alternate dimension where logic ceases to exist, replaced by an unshakeable belief in our own exceptionalism.
The study even delved into murkier moral territory. “Rules are made to be broken,” declared one respondent with a wink and a grin that likely precedes tax evasion schemes. Several participants expressed a vague discomfort with the concept of ‘laws’ entirely, implying that their innate sense of right and wrong rendered pesky legal codes obsolete.
So, what does this mass delusion signify? Are we hurtling towards a future where parking spaces are claimed on a ‘finders-keepers’ basis, dinner table etiquette is determined by who can shout the loudest, and jaywalking is considered an avant-garde performance art?
Perhaps. But here at CSDN, we remain confident in the fundamental truth that everyone is indeed special – as long as they acknowledge that we’re indisputably more special. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a delivery order of extra cheesy, extra righteous pizza to enjoy, with absolutely zero intention of sharing. Rules are for the unenlightened, after all.
Liv N. Large 
Polly Tickle