By Chip Byteley
In a bizarre twist of fate that has historians and sci-fi enthusiasts alike scratching their heads, a self-proclaimed time traveler emerged this week with a mission to warn about the ongoing conflict in Gaza but, upon assessing the complexity of the situation, decided to return to 1920 to attempt a fix on the notorious Sykes-Picot Agreement instead. The time traveler, who prefers to remain anonymous citing “temporal non-disclosure agreements,” made a brief appearance in 2024, only to conclude that addressing the root of the problem seemed a more efficient use of their unique capabilities.
“I arrived in 2024, took one look around, and realized I’d have an easier time convincing a room full of cats to swim than untangling this mess,” the time traveler reportedly said. “So, it was back to 1920 for me, where I only had to deal with a couple of imperialist diplomats instead.”
The Sykes-Picot Agreement, a secret 1916 treaty between the United Kingdom and France, with assent from Russia, effectively divided the Ottoman Empire’s Arab provinces outside the Arabian peninsula into areas of future British and French control or influence. The agreement is often cited as a root cause of current Middle Eastern geopolitical complexities, including the conflict in Gaza.
The time traveler’s plan involved a simple intervention: replacing the original Sykes-Picot map with one that features significantly more sensible borders, taking into account ethnic, linguistic, and religious groups’ distribution. This revised map reportedly included a small footnote: “Try not to mess it up this time, yeah?”
Upon their return to 2024, the time traveler expressed dismay that their efforts seemed to have had limited impact. “You mean to tell me they still went ahead with the whole Sykes-Picot thing, even after I added a ‘Please reconsider’ sticky note?” they lamented, before vanishing in a puff of paradox.
The international community has been left to ponder the implications of this temporal tampering, with many experts expressing skepticism about the time traveler’s claims. “Even if you could change the Sykes-Picot Agreement, who’s to say it wouldn’t lead to an even more convoluted situation?” questioned Dr. Chrono Logist, a professor of temporal dynamics. “Also, where can I get one of those time machines?”
Meanwhile, others are more focused on the missed opportunity. “If you have a time machine, why not go back and give humanity the secret to sustainable energy, or at least next week’s lottery numbers?” asked a local bystander, clearly missing the broader implications.
The time traveler’s brief visit has sparked a wave of speculative fiction, with writers and filmmakers rushing to explore narratives where the Sykes-Picot Agreement was successfully altered, resulting in a vastly different 2024. In the meantime, the rest of us are left to navigate the complex realities of our timeline, where the quest for peace in the Middle East remains an elusive goal, untouched by the hands of time travelers.
Polly Tickle 
Liv N. Large