Florida Man Attempts to Use Alligator as Pool Float

In a tale of either supreme bravery or the worst judgment call since someone thought releasing pythons into the Everglades was a good idea, a Florida Man has made headlines in a truly bizarre incident. Apparently mistaking a sunbathing alligator for a particularly scaly inflatable, the man attempted to use the living, and very confused, reptile as a pool float.

News of this incident spread across the internet like a startled alligator escaping into a sewer. While the rest of the world reacted with a mix of horror and amusement, those familiar with the antics of Florida Man simply nodded knowingly. After all, this is the state where riding a manatee is a crime and wrestling alligators in kiddie pools somehow became a spectator sport.

The story goes like this: the unidentified Florida Man, fueled by either liquid courage or an alarming lack of common sense, spotted the alligator chilling poolside. Instead of displaying any healthy fear, he apparently thought, “huh, that looks comfy.” What followed was a scene straight out of a low-budget horror comedy: the man attempting to wrangle the surprised gator, the gator snapping its jaws in retaliation, and the inevitable splash as the would-be float rider ended up in the water anyway.

While the man was thankfully unharmed (except perhaps for a few puncture wounds in his oversized ego), the alligator was left rightfully bewildered. It’s unclear whether the gator, now sporting the title of “Least Relaxing Pool Float Ever,” went on to develop a newfound fear of overly tanned humans in swim trunks.

And while animal welfare experts might throw their hands up in dismay at the sheer audacity of the incident, here at CSDN, we can’t help but marvel at the sheer Florida-ness of it all. In a state known for its unique blend of sunshine and absurdity, attempting to ride an alligator seems like the logical conclusion of having too much free time, access to cheap beer, and an environment packed with creatures that can, and occasionally will, eat you.