By Polly Tickle
In a bold move that has left cartographers and global citizens alike scratching their heads, world leaders have unveiled their latest strategy to combat world hunger: misplacing an entire continent. The announcement, made during the most recent summit of the United Nations’ lesser-known Committee for Unconventional Solutions (C.U.S.), has sparked a mixture of confusion, amusement, and outright disbelief.
“We’ve tried everything to solve world hunger—aid, development programs, agricultural innovation,” explained the committee chair, standing beside a disheveled world map. “Then it hit us: what if we just misplaced a continent? Out of sight, out of mind, right?”
The plan, as detailed in scattered documents and hastily drawn doodles found at the scene, involves the collective effort of world leaders to ‘forget’ where one of the Earth’s continents is located. The theory is that by misplacing a continent, global resources would be redistributed, somehow leading to an end to world hunger.
Critics have been quick to point out the numerous flaws in this plan, not least of which is the basic understanding of geography. “Continents don’t just wander off like a set of keys,” stated one baffled geographer. “And even if they did, how would that solve world hunger?”
Meanwhile, supporters of the initiative—mostly found within the ranks of the C.U.S.—argue that it’s high time for some “outside-the-box” thinking. “If history has taught us anything, it’s that the best solutions are often the most unexpected,” argued one enthusiastic member, attempting to shuffle a large puzzle piece representing Antarctica to a new location on the map.
In the wake of the announcement, social media has been abuzz with speculation about which continent might be the first to be ‘misplaced.’ Suggestions have ranged from the practical (“Can we misplace the one I’m not on?”) to the satirical (“I’ve been trying to misplace my student loan continent for years”).
As the world waits to see how this unconventional plan unfolds, many are left wondering whether this is a genuine attempt to solve one of humanity’s most pressing issues or a clever metaphor for how global leaders often miss the point when it comes to addressing systemic problems.
In the meantime, the delivery industry, pizza teleportation scientists, and sponsored politicians continue to watch from the sidelines, perhaps grateful that, for once, the world’s attention is focused on a plan even more outlandish than their own.
Chip Byteley