Does Your Apple Watch Get Sad When Not Worn?
Chip ByteleyAs our tech gadgets get smarter, it’s easy to wonder if they start developing sentience and maybe even a hint…
Read MoreConspiracy Theorists Demand the Truth About False Teeth
They say never trust a person with false teeth, but that’s just what the conspiracy theorists want you to believe.…
Read MoreIsrael Insists “No Path To Peace”, As Hamas Accepts Ceasefire Agreement
Polly TickleIn a startling development that has international observers concerned, Israel has declared that there is “no path to peace” shortly…
Read MoreShell Oil Suggest “Eco-Friendly” Gasoline, A Kale and Kerosine Mixture
In a move that stretches the boundaries of both science and satire, Shell Oil has unveiled a startling new product:…
Read MoreCongress Debates Installing Lie Detectors in Senate Chamber
In an unprecedented turn of events that has political pundits chuckling and conspiracy theorists taking notes, Congress is debating the…
Read MorePsychologists Recommend Arguing More to Improve Communication
Forget peaceful resolutions and deep breaths – the world of mental health just got a lot more combative. In a…
Read MoreGmail Password Resets Now Require a Doctor’s Note and a Small Sacrifice
In an unusual twist on cybersecurity measures, Google has introduced a perplexing new policy for Gmail password resets: forgotten passwords…
Read MoreU.S. Says Weapons in Israel Were ‘Only Sort of’ Used Illegally
In a dazzling display of diplomatic gymnastics, the United States has declared that while its weapons sold to Israel may…
Read MorePoliticians to Wear Sponsored Jerseys: A New Era of Transparency in Funding
In a move that’s being hailed as a game-changer for political transparency, lawmakers across the globe have agreed to a…
Read MoreHistorians Admit All Historical Events Are Just Elaborate Hoaxes
The Greatest Story Ever Told According to the consortium, the entire timeline of human history has been carefully crafted by…
Read MoreGlobal Leaders Agree to Solve Climate Change by 2050 or Whenever Mars Becomes Habitable, Whichever Comes First
In a landmark decision that’s being hailed as “a giant leap for mankind, sort of,” global leaders have unanimously agreed…
Read MorePence Declines to Endorse Trump, Prefers Endorsing Literally Anything Else
In an unprecedented move that’s set political circles abuzz, former Vice President Mike Pence has openly declared his stance for…
Read MoreAntarctica Declares Independence, Elects Penguin as President
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the international community and wildlife documentaries alike, Antarctica has declared its independence…
Read MoreAncient Cave Paintings Proven to be the Work of Bored Teenagers
In a stunning archaeological revelation that overturns centuries of accepted wisdom, experts have conclusively proven ancient cave paintings are simply…
Read MoreAfter 60 Years of Debate, UN Decides to Decide If Palestine Exists, Eventually
In what many are calling a “historic maybe,” the United Nations General Assembly has overwhelmingly voted that Palestine just might…
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