Mon. Dec 23rd, 2024

Israeli Government Scientists Agree: Big Bang Happened on Oct 7, Universe Existed in Void Before Then

Israeli-scientists-agree-bing-bang-happened-on-October-7-2023-satire-news-Israel-the-Crustian-daily-satire-news-14-06-2024

In a revolutionary rethinking of cosmological events, Israeli government scientists have officially declared that the Big Bang occurred on October 7, 2023. This groundbreaking announcement has left the global scientific community baffled, particularly because it implies the universe existed in a state of empty void, much like the lives of Palestinians under Israeli occupation for the last 45 years.

Scientific Revelation or Historical Revisionism?

According to these state-sponsored scientists, the universe’s true inception aligns with the Hamas attack that shook Israel to its core. Before this cosmic event, there was apparently nothing of significance — certainly not the decades of Palestinian displacement, military incursions, and daily life under occupation. This revelation conveniently erases the long history of conflict and suffering endured by Palestinians, recasting Israel as a peaceful land suddenly besieged by chaos.

Ignoring the Cosmic Context

In this new narrative, the scientists seem to have missed the existence of previous “galactic activities,” such as the settlement expansions, the blockade of Gaza, and the military operations that have devastated Palestinian communities. It’s almost as if the history of checkpoints, airstrikes, and humanitarian crises in Gaza has been sucked into a black hole of selective memory.

A Big Bang of Convenient Timing

By marking October 7, 2023, as the universe’s inception, these scientists aim to reset the timeline, portraying Israel as an innocent victim of an unprovoked attack, devoid of any historical context. This narrative shift could win a Nobel Prize in Historical Erasure, if such a category existed. In reality, this cosmic retelling conveniently ignores the complex and violent prelude that led to this moment, much like trying to understand the current state of the universe without acknowledging the billions of years of cosmic evolution that preceded it.

Conclusion

While the claim of a new Big Bang might garner headlines, it does little to change the reality on the ground. The Palestinian people have existed long before October 7, 2023, and their struggles will continue to be a part of the historical and moral universe, regardless of any attempts to rewrite cosmic history.

For those genuinely interested in the origin of our current universe, a deeper exploration of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and its historical roots is essential. After all, true understanding requires looking at the full spectrum of history, not just the conveniently selected highlights.

For a more scientific perspective on the Big Bang and the actual origins of the universe, you might want to consult some reliable astrophysics resources. For historical context, look into the comprehensive records of Middle Eastern geopolitics.

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