Fri. Jun 28th, 2024

Logan Paul Opens Wrestling School: Learn to Body Slam Like a Pro, Get Scammed Like an Amateur

Logan-Paul-opens-scam-wrestling-school-entertainment-news-Crustian-daily-satire-23-06-2024Img src: Fortune

Logan Paul, the controversial internet personality turned WWE wrestler, has announced his latest venture: Maverick Wrestling Academy. The online school promises to teach aspiring grapplers the secrets to Logan’s in-ring success. However, critics and past victims of Paul’s various schemes are skeptical, to put it mildly.

“I’m the greatest wrestler of my generation,” Logan declared in a promotional video, showcasing his signature moves with questionable form. “Now, for a small investment of $15,000, you can learn everything I know. And by everything, I mean the five moves I’ve actually mastered.”

The academy’s curriculum, according to its glitzy website, includes modules on “Creating Viral Moments in the Ring” (presumably by filming your opponent’s injuries) and “Monetizing Your Losses” (a skill Logan seems to have perfected). Conspicuously absent are any lessons on grappling fundamentals or injury prevention.

Former customers of Paul’s other ventures, like the infamous “CryptoZoo” NFT debacle, are warning potential students to proceed with caution. “I lost thousands investing in Logan’s digital menagerie,” laments one disgruntled customer. “I wouldn’t trust him to teach me how to tie my shoelaces, let alone execute a suplex.”

Wrestling experts are equally dubious. “Logan Paul is undoubtedly athletic, but his wrestling skills are… let’s say, still developing,” remarks former WWE champion, Rock Solid. “His academy is likely more about building his brand than building legitimate wrestlers. It’s a classic Logan Paul move.”

The academy’s hefty price tag has also raised eyebrows. $15,000 for virtual training sessions with a YouTuber-turned-part-time-wrestler seems excessive, even for those blinded by Logan’s undeniable charisma.

Whether “Maverick Wrestling Academy” is a legitimate educational endeavor or just another cash grab remains to be seen. But one thing’s for sure: if you sign up, be prepared for a heavy dose of self-promotion, questionable financial advice, and maybe, just maybe, a few wrestling tips you could have learned for free on YouTube.

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