Republicans Declare Masturbation a Form of Abortion
Polly TickleIn a bold move that has left hands across America either clasped in prayer or firmly in pockets, the Republican…
Read MoreWe Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
Read MoreElon Musk Reveals Plans to Host Cabaret Show on X
Chip ByteleyAustin, TX — Just when you thought the world of tech couldn’t get any weirder, Elon Musk has announced his…
Read MoreBomb Craters in Kursk Barely Noticeable Due to Russia’s Preexisting Infrastructure Woes
Kursk, Russia — In what might be the most anticlimactic invasion in recent history, Ukrainian forces found that their bombardment…
Read MoreExxonmobil Develops Plastic-Eating Fish to Save the Oceans
Houston, TX — In what the company is hailing as a revolutionary environmental breakthrough, ExxonMobil has announced the development of…
Read MoreKids Sue Parents for Bringing Them Into This Mess Without Permission
Los Angeles, CA — In what legal experts are calling the most ambitious lawsuit since someone tried to trademark the…
Read MoreApple Unveils Revolutionary ‘Work from Womb’ Initiative Promising Productivity Before Birth
Apple has done it again. Just when we thought they’d exhausted every possible way to integrate technology into the most…
Read MoreElon Musk Reveals Twitter’s ‘X’ Stands For ‘Xenophobia’
Elon Musk, never one to shy away from controversy, has dropped a bombshell about his latest rebranding effort: Twitter’s transformation…
Read MoreIsrael to Allow Journalists from North Sentinel Island into Gaza
In a move that has left the global journalism community both baffled and outraged, Israel has announced that it will…
Read MoreUkraine Welcomes Growing Wave of Russian Refugees Fleeing Kremlin Control
A New Exodus: From Moscow to Mariupol In a twist of irony that even the most imaginative satirist could scarcely…
Read MoreUS Decides Rape is Acceptable Military Action
The United States has found a new benchmark for moral flexibility, with its decision to continue funneling military aid to…
Read MoreIsrael Expands West Bank Lebensraum Tactics to Target Christians
In a shocking escalation of its controversial policies, Israel has now set its sights on targeting Christian communities in the…
Read MoreUS Government Proudly Announces Plan to Shelter All Homeless Veterans in National Forests
Washington, D.C. – In a bold move hailed as a win for both veterans and the environment, the U.S. government…
Read MoreRussia Applies to NATO for Defence Against Ukraine
Russia, a nation renowned for its military prowess and unparalleled ability to invade neighbors, has now found itself in a…
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Local Man, 30, Still Waiting for His Hogwarts Letter
In a small, rather unremarkable town that could be anywhere but is nowhere near the hidden twists and turns of…
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