Hysterical Man Covered in Cheeto Dust Becomes President of the USA
Polly TickleIn an unprecedented twist that left the nation both amused and bewildered, Donald J. Trump has been elected President of…
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Supreme Court Votes 5-4 to Bring Back the 19th Century
In a shocking and highly controversial decision, the Supreme Court has narrowly voted 5-4 to roll back American society to…
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Russian Military Requests Aid from Irish Fishermen as Ukrainian Forces Threaten Crimea
In a bizarre twist to the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the beleaguered Russian military has reportedly turned to…
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Elon Musk Reveals Twitter’s ‘X’ Stands For ‘Xenophobia’
Chip ByteleyElon Musk, never one to shy away from controversy, has dropped a bombshell about his latest rebranding effort: Twitter’s transformation…
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Russia Applies to NATO for Defence Against Ukraine
Russia, a nation renowned for its military prowess and unparalleled ability to invade neighbors, has now found itself in a…
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“MyNuggetsMrBigHands”: Iran’s Intelligence Agency Exposes Trump’s Password in Unprecedented Security Breach
DominickIn what can only be described as an explosive revelation, Iran’s intelligence agency has allegedly penetrated the inner workings of…
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Myspace Poised for Twitter Takeover as Musk’s Empire Crumbles
Myspace Sets Its Sights on Twitter Takeover as Musk’s Social Media Empire Crumbles Amid UK Riots In a twist that…
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American Evangelicals Abandon Jesus After Actually Reading Bible, Still Claim to Be Christian
Liv N. LargeIn what can only be described as a theological plot twist of biblical proportions, American Evangelicals are reportedly distancing themselves…
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Israel Mulls Expanding Lebensraum to Lebanon
In a development that seems ripped from the pages of a history book best left in the past, Israel is…
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IDF Seek Partnership With Mr.Beast After Human Rights Allegations
In a twist that sounds like a punchline from a late-night comedy show, the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF), currently embroiled…
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Ukraine Begins Special Military Operation in Russia
Ukraine’s Bold Move: An Unthinkable Invasion of Russia In what appears to be an audacious twist in the ongoing Russo-Ukrainian…
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Secret to Immortality Discovered: Just Be Wealthy
A new report, published in the prestigious Journal of Things We Already Knew, reveals that individuals with vast fortunes are…
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Netanyahu Prepares Tel Aviv Population as Human Shield for Possible Iranian Assault
In a paradoxical twist of fate, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is readying Tel Aviv residents for potential Iranian assaults by…
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Reddit Teams with Russian Military for Content Moderation
In a surprising and satirical twist, Reddit has decided to collaborate with the Russian military for content moderation. This move…
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WWE and Netflix Look to Stream Maduro vs Elon Musk Fight
In an unexpected twist that has left political analysts and entertainment enthusiasts alike scratching their heads, WWE and Netflix have…
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Trump to Identify as Black After Car Crash Interview
In a bizarre twist, former President Donald Trump has announced he will identify as Black following a car crash interview…
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Trump Takes Up Meditation to Cope with Kamala-Induced Stress
In a surprising and somewhat comical twist, Donald Trump has reportedly turned to meditation to manage his growing anxiety over…
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Future Olympians? USA Scouts School Therapy Sessions for Shooting Talent
In a move that’s as controversial as it is desperate, the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) has announced an unorthodox…
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The USA Switches Sides in War on Terror, as Netanyahu Declared Terrorist
In a surprising twist that could have significant geopolitical ramifications, Pakistan has officially declared Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a…
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Trump Seen Shopping for Shrapnel-proof Vests
In what can only be described as a bold, albeit peculiar, move, former President Donald Trump was recently spotted shopping…
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Kamala Harris Aims to Overshadow Trump With WWE Debut
Vice President Kamala Harris has announced her intention to enter WWE, aiming to outshine former President Donald Trump’s infamous WWE…
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Middle-Eastern Terrorist Arrives to Speak to Congress and White House
In a baffling display of international relations, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, widely criticized and labeled a “Middle-Eastern terrorist” by…
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Scientists Baffled as Y2K Arrives Two Decades Late
In a turn of events that feels ripped from a tech dystopia novel, the long-feared Y2K bug seems to have…
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Leaked Plan Shows Israel Intends to Annex and Occupy ICJ After Reparations Ruling
In a satirical twist on recent events, a leaked document has revealed Israel’s audacious plan to annex and occupy the…
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Did Trump’s “Shoot Pedophiles” Order Backfire Spectacularly?
In an ironic and tragic twist, Donald Trump’s hardline stance on gun rights and vigilante justice has come back to…
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God Ignores Pope’s Plea for Priests
In a desperate plea to the heavens, Pope Francis has urged religious orders to pray for new priests and nuns…
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Trump to Fans: ‘Get Over It’ Like It’s a School Shooting
In a bewildering display of insensitivity, Donald Trump brushed off the recent shooting at his Pennsylvania rally, telling fans to…
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USA and Russia Find Common Ground: Both Denounce ICC as “Inconvenient”
In a surreal twist of global politics, the United States and Russia have found themselves in rare agreement over a…
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Santa Cancels Operations in Middle East as IDF Fails to Promise Safe Passage
In an unprecedented move that has left children and parents across the Middle East devastated, Santa Claus has announced that…
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Supreme Court Set to Approve Elon Musk’s Purchase of the Country
In a development that seems both inevitable and absurd, the Supreme Court is reportedly poised to approve Elon Musk’s audacious…
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Will Ginger Cows Repair Irish-Israeli Relations?
In a move that has left diplomats and conspiracy theorists alike scratching their heads, Israel has announced that a herd…
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Israeli HOA to Govern New Palestinian Leadership in Groundbreaking Initiative
Any newly-formed Palestinian leadership is expected to fall under the governance of an unlikely entity: an Israeli Homeowners’ Association (HOA).…
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Therapist Accidentally Fixes Client’s Anxiety by Canceling Session for the Fourth Time in a Row
In an unexpected twist that has left both professionals and patients baffled, a local therapist has inadvertently cured her client’s…
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Opinion: ‘The Best Part of Adult Friendships Is Pretending to Want to Meet Up Someday’
Let’s be honest for a moment: The best part of adult friendships isn’t the shared history, the inside jokes, or…
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