Opinion: ‘The Best Part of Adult Friendships Is Pretending to Want to Meet Up Someday’

Let’s be honest for a moment: The best part of adult friendships isn’t the shared history, the inside jokes, or the years of loyalty. No, the best part is something much simpler, much sweeter: it’s the mutual charade of pretending we actually want to meet up someday. We all do it—texting, “Let’s grab a coffee soon!” or “We should totally catch up when things settle down!”—with no intention whatsoever of following through.

And you know what? That’s okay. In fact, it’s beautiful. This collective agreement, this unspoken social contract, is the foundation of adult friendship. It’s the dance we all perform, the delicate balancing act that says, “I like you enough to suggest a plan, but let’s not ruin this by actually making one.”

The Origins of the ‘Let’s Meet Up’ Lie

It starts innocently enough. You run into an old friend at the grocery store, someone you haven’t seen since before the pandemic. You’re both genuinely happy to see each other—at first. You exchange the usual pleasantries, catch up for a solid two minutes, and then it happens. The words come tumbling out like a reflex: “We should get together sometime soon!”

You smile, they smile, you both nod enthusiastically, and then you part ways, feeling good about your spontaneous display of camaraderie. But as you walk away, you both know that there is no coffee date on the horizon. You know it, they know it, and that’s the best part: you’re both in on the lie.

The Comfort of the Eternal ‘Rain Check’

The truth is, adulthood has blessed us with a powerful coping mechanism: the permanent rain check. It’s a gesture of goodwill, a symbol of friendship that requires zero actual effort. When we say, “We should totally catch up sometime!” what we really mean is, “I acknowledge your existence, I value our shared history, and I have fond memories of us. But let’s be realistic—life is exhausting, and I’m already overbooked with plans I have no intention of keeping.”

It’s a low-pressure way to maintain the friendship without the awkwardness of rejecting someone outright. We’re busy! We have jobs, kids, and the latest Netflix series to binge-watch. Making actual plans requires logistics, energy, and—heaven forbid—putting on real pants. In the grand scheme of things, it’s much easier to say we’ll meet up “someday” than to face the grim reality of our calendars.

The Unspoken Agreement: I Won’t Call Your Bluff If You Don’t Call Mine

The beauty of this tradition lies in its mutual understanding. If I say, “Let’s grab a drink soon,” you’re not actually going to respond with “How about Friday at 7 PM?” That would be a violation of the sacred code of adult friendships. We both know that the appropriate response is something vague and non-committal like, “Yes, let’s! I’m free… sometime in the future!”

In fact, nothing strikes fear into the heart of an adult more than the friend who actually tries to solidify the plan. When someone texts, “Okay, how about next Wednesday?” you immediately panic. Next Wednesday? That’s way too soon! I haven’t even mentally prepared for the possibility of human interaction. You scramble for an excuse, typing, “Oh, next Wednesday is tough for me. Let’s rain check and figure something out later!” Translation: “Let’s never speak of this again.”

The Magic of Perpetual Friendship, From a Distance

The ‘Let’s Meet Up Someday’ charade is the backbone of countless adult friendships, allowing us to stay connected without the burden of actual proximity. It’s a form of care, a way of saying, “I still think of you fondly, even if I don’t want to physically see you.” And isn’t that what we all want—to be thought of, to be remembered, without the hassle of putting on shoes and driving across town?

There’s a certain warmth in knowing that your friends are out there, living their lives, also dodging plans they don’t want to make. It’s a comforting reminder that while you might not see each other often, you’re still part of each other’s mental landscape. You can both coast along on the shared understanding that the friendship is alive and well, nurtured by the occasional “We really should hang out soon!” text.

The Digital Age Has Perfected the Art of Non-Commitment

In the age of social media, this dynamic has only gotten stronger. We like each other’s posts, react to each other’s stories, and leave supportive comments like “Miss your face!” without ever intending to meet up in person. It’s the perfect low-effort way to maintain the illusion of a close friendship without the hassle of scheduling face time.

Every time you send a heart emoji or comment “We need a catch-up date ASAP!” on someone’s photo, you’re basically saying, “I still like you enough to interact, but please let’s keep this relationship digital.” It’s the sweet spot between ghosting and actually following through on plans, and it’s the most sustainable model of adult friendship we have.

The Relief of Knowing We’re All in This Together

If you’ve ever felt guilty about this behavior, don’t. The study of adult friendships has shown that we’re all doing it, and it’s okay. It’s not a sign that we don’t care about each other—it’s a sign that we’ve evolved. We’ve collectively recognized that friendship doesn’t always require physical proximity or even regular check-ins. Sometimes, all it takes is the occasional “We should totally do brunch soon!” to keep the bond alive.

In fact, some might argue that this kind of friendship is healthier. We’re giving each other space, respecting each other’s time, and acknowledging the reality that meeting up isn’t always feasible. It’s an exercise in trust: I trust that you still care about me even if we never actually make plans, and you trust that I feel the same.

So next time you find yourself saying, “Let’s get together soon!” don’t feel bad about it. Lean into the beauty of the lie. It’s not a failure of friendship—it’s the ultimate form of adult love. It says, “I see you, I remember you, and I value our connection enough to pretend that one day we’ll have the time and energy to meet up.”

And isn’t that what friendship is all about?

Disclaimer: This article is a work of satire produced by the Crustian Daily. Any resemblance to real events or individuals is purely coincidental, and all opinions expressed are fictitious. Remember, it’s “News You Can’t Trust.”