Secret to Immortality Discovered: Just Be Wealthy
Liv N. LargeA new report, published in the prestigious Journal of Things We Already Knew, reveals that individuals with vast fortunes are…
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UN Unveils ‘Peace Through Pizza’ Program in Desperate Attempt to Recover World Peace
Polly TickleIn a world increasingly beset by conflict and division, the United Nations has launched an unconventional and savory new initiative:…
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Netanyahu Prepares Tel Aviv Population as Human Shield for Possible Iranian Assault
In a paradoxical twist of fate, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is readying Tel Aviv residents for potential Iranian assaults by…
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Athletes Complain Paris Air Quality Worse Than Doping Side Effects
In a surprising turn of events, athletes competing in the upcoming Paris Olympics have voiced their concerns about the city’s…
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Maduro Clings to Power to Dodge the Starvation Afflicting His Citizens
In a move that has left the world both unsurprised and disheartened, Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro has secured another term…
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Reddit Teams with Russian Military for Content Moderation
Chip ByteleyIn a surprising and satirical twist, Reddit has decided to collaborate with the Russian military for content moderation. This move…
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