Russian Military Requests Aid from Irish Fishermen as Ukrainian Forces Threaten Crimea
Polly TickleIn a bizarre twist to the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the beleaguered Russian military has reportedly turned to…
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Israel Successfully Converts Millions of Jews to Zionism
In a calculated move that has sent shockwaves through Jewish communities worldwide, Israel has effectively replaced traditional Judaism with a…
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Parents Find Son Missing Since Start of Pandemic While Decluttering Basement
Liv N. LargeSpringfield, IL — A local family made a shocking discovery this week after deciding to finally tackle their pandemic clutter:…
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Local Man, 30, Still Waiting for His Hogwarts Letter
Chip ByteleyIn a small, rather unremarkable town that could be anywhere but is nowhere near the hidden twists and turns of…
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Republicans Declare Masturbation a Form of Abortion
In a bold move that has left hands across America either clasped in prayer or firmly in pockets, the Republican…
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We Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
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