U.S. Says Weapons in Israel Were ‘Only Sort of’ Used Illegally
Polly TickleIn a dazzling display of diplomatic gymnastics, the United States has declared that while its weapons sold to Israel may…
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Politicians to Wear Sponsored Jerseys: A New Era of Transparency in Funding
In a move that’s being hailed as a game-changer for political transparency, lawmakers across the globe have agreed to a…
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Historians Admit All Historical Events Are Just Elaborate Hoaxes
Chip ByteleyThe Greatest Story Ever Told According to the consortium, the entire timeline of human history has been carefully crafted by…
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Global Leaders Agree to Solve Climate Change by 2050 or Whenever Mars Becomes Habitable, Whichever Comes First
In a landmark decision that’s being hailed as “a giant leap for mankind, sort of,” global leaders have unanimously agreed…
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Pence Declines to Endorse Trump, Prefers Endorsing Literally Anything Else
In an unprecedented move that’s set political circles abuzz, former Vice President Mike Pence has openly declared his stance for…
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Antarctica Declares Independence, Elects Penguin as President
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the international community and wildlife documentaries alike, Antarctica has declared its independence…
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