New Canadian Safety Law Requires Pedestrians to Wear Helmets
Polly TickleIn a bold move that has safety experts nodding in helmets of approval and fashionistas recoiling in horror, Canada has…
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Elon Musk Pledges to End Homelessness by Purchasing the Moon
In a stunning announcement that left both astronomers and economists scratching their heads, tech magnate Elon Musk has declared his…
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Legal Experts Baffled as Trump Attempts to Plead ‘Alternative Innocence’
In an unprecedented twist in courtroom strategy, former President Donald Trump has introduced a novel legal concept that has left…
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Ben Gvir Announces Concept of Food Aid as a Hamas Ideal
In a twist that could vex even the most astute satirist, Israeli National Security Minister Itamar Ben Gvir’s latest proclamations…
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Senate Introduces Bill to Make ‘Unfollowing’ Politicians on Social Media a Federal Offense
Chip ByteleyIn a daring leap towards what can only be described as “compulsory digital loyalty,” the U.S. Senate has unveiled legislation…
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Neuralink Update Includes Mandatory Volunteer Signup for Mars Colonization
In a bold move that blurs the lines between cutting-edge technology and interplanetary draft, Elon Musk’s Neuralink has announced its…
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