Neuralink Update Includes Mandatory Volunteer Signup for Mars Colonization
Chip ByteleyIn a bold move that blurs the lines between cutting-edge technology and interplanetary draft, Elon Musk’s Neuralink has announced its…
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Voting to be available via TikTok Polls in Bold Move to Increase Youth Turnout
Polly TickleIn a bid to make democracy more “lit” and significantly boost youth voter turnout, authorities have announced a revolutionary new…
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‘None of the Above’ Winning in Early Polls
In an unprecedented twist that has both political analysts and satirists rubbing their hands with glee, early polls across the…
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30,000 Dead, Israel Competing In ‘Olympics of Accusation’
In a perpetual tableau of sorrow, one that seems to loop endlessly across the timeline of recent history, the streets…
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Selective Memory Syndrome Strikes Global Leaders Following Iranian Retaliation
In what appears to be a sudden outbreak of Selective Memory Syndrome (SMS), world powers have conveniently forgotten recent provocations…
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NATO Increases Donations of ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ to Ukraine
In a groundbreaking move that’s set the international stage abuzz, NATO has reportedly ramped up its contributions to Ukraine, not…
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