Google to Launch DNA Tests for Employees to Predict Sick Days
Chip ByteleyGoogle, the tech giant known for ambitious (and occasionally unsettling) innovations, is set to disrupt workplace wellness programs in a…
Read MoreIrish-American Shocked to Discover Ireland Really Exists
In a revelation that has left one Irish-American reeling, local resident Patrick O’Sullivan recently discovered that Ireland is not just…
Read MoreBritish Telecommuters to Pay Road Tax Based on Internet Usage
In a scheme that would make even Orwell blush, British telecommuters could soon face a bizarre new tax: paying for…
Read MoreLocal Man Declares Himself ‘King of the Remote,’ Bans Romantic Comedies
In a household coup that has stunned his family and amused his friends, local man John Stevens has declared himself…
Read MoreTesco to Launch ‘Choose Your Own Expiry Date’ on Perishables
Grocery shopping is about to get a lot more philosophical. UK supermarket giant Tesco is venturing into uncharted territory with…
Read MoreGoogle AI Recommends Users Glue Pizza to Ceiling for Better Wi-Fi
In a baffling and humorous twist, Google AI has made headlines for recommending users glue pizza to their ceilings to…
Read MoreValedictorian Delivers Entire Graduation Speech in Emoji
It was a graduation ceremony unlike any other at Wellington University. As valedictorian Sarah Jones took the stage, the usual…
Read MoreValve Confirms: Your Steam Games Will Be Supported in the Afterlife
In a surprising move that blurs the line between the digital and the divine, Valve has announced that gamers need…
Read MoreFuture iPhones to Automatically Delete Neglected Contacts
In a move guaranteed to either streamline your life or trigger an existential crisis about the fleeting nature of modern…
Read MoreUS Census to Include Questions on Netflix Viewing Habits to Better Understand Population Trends
The next time you gear up for a marathon streaming session, remember this: The US Census Bureau might be taking…
Read MoreScientists Announce Microplastics as the New Superfood: Part of Your Daily Detox!
In an unprecedented turn of events, scientists have discovered the latest addition to the health food craze: microplastics. These tiny…
Read More“Oh, Great”: Sarcasm to Debut as Olympic Sport in 2024, IOC Confirms
The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has officially announced the inclusion of Sarcasm as a competitive sport in the 2024 Olympics.…
Read MoreBrooklyn Apartment, Smaller Than Shoebox, Listed for $2 Million (Views of Brick Wall Included)
In a move that defies both logic and the concept of affordability, a real estate listing has sent New York…
Read MoreDublin-New York Omegle Experiment Reopens
After a hiatus marked by controversy and lewd behavior, the Dublin-New York portal has officially reopened, promising a renewed and…
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“Quirky” Coffee Shop Charges Extra for Customers Who Don’t Use Obscure Coffee Lingo
In a move that’s likely to alienate caffeine-fueled patrons and baristas alike, a trendy new coffee shop has ruffled feathers…
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