Santa Cancels Operations in Middle East as IDF Fails to Promise Safe Passage
Polly TickleIn an unprecedented move that has left children and parents across the Middle East devastated, Santa Claus has announced that…
Read MoreSupreme Court Set to Approve Elon Musk’s Purchase of the Country
In a development that seems both inevitable and absurd, the Supreme Court is reportedly poised to approve Elon Musk’s audacious…
Read MoreWill Ginger Cows Repair Irish-Israeli Relations?
In a move that has left diplomats and conspiracy theorists alike scratching their heads, Israel has announced that a herd…
Read MoreIsraeli HOA to Govern New Palestinian Leadership in Groundbreaking Initiative
Any newly-formed Palestinian leadership is expected to fall under the governance of an unlikely entity: an Israeli Homeowners’ Association (HOA).…
Read MoreHysterical Man Covered in Cheeto Dust Becomes President of the USA
In an unprecedented twist that left the nation both amused and bewildered, Donald J. Trump has been elected President of…
Read MoreJoe Biden to Invite God to Gaza Peace Talks
In a move that has political analysts scratching their heads and theologians intrigued, President Joe Biden has announced his intentions…
Read MoreNorthern England Welcomes Tourism Boost Through ‘Poverty Tourism’
In a bid to revitalize its struggling economy, Northern England has turned to an unusual new industry: “poverty tourism.” This…
Read MoreSupreme Court Votes 5-4 to Bring Back the 19th Century
In a shocking and highly controversial decision, the Supreme Court has narrowly voted 5-4 to roll back American society to…
Read MoreElon Musk and Donald Trump to Escape to Mars if Kamala Wins
The 2024 election could be the most consequential in history—literally out of this world, if the latest rumors are to…
Read MoreUS Military Stocks Up on Sticks and Stones in Preparation for WW4
In an unprecedented move that has left military analysts scratching their heads, the United States Army has announced it is…
Read MoreRussian Military Requests Aid from Irish Fishermen as Ukrainian Forces Threaten Crimea
In a bizarre twist to the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the beleaguered Russian military has reportedly turned to…
Read MoreIsrael Successfully Converts Millions of Jews to Zionism
In a calculated move that has sent shockwaves through Jewish communities worldwide, Israel has effectively replaced traditional Judaism with a…
Read MoreRepublicans Declare Masturbation a Form of Abortion
In a bold move that has left hands across America either clasped in prayer or firmly in pockets, the Republican…
Read MoreWe Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
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Nicotine-Flavored Broccoli Proposed as Teen Vaping Deterrent
In what might be the most 21st-century twist in the tale of vaping regulations, governments from every corner of the…
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