Elon Musk and Donald Trump to Escape to Mars if Kamala Wins
Polly TickleThe 2024 election could be the most consequential in history—literally out of this world, if the latest rumors are to…
Read MoreUS Military Stocks Up on Sticks and Stones in Preparation for WW4
In an unprecedented move that has left military analysts scratching their heads, the United States Army has announced it is…
Read MoreRussian Military Requests Aid from Irish Fishermen as Ukrainian Forces Threaten Crimea
In a bizarre twist to the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the beleaguered Russian military has reportedly turned to…
Read MoreIsrael Successfully Converts Millions of Jews to Zionism
In a calculated move that has sent shockwaves through Jewish communities worldwide, Israel has effectively replaced traditional Judaism with a…
Read MoreWe Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
Read MoreBomb Craters in Kursk Barely Noticeable Due to Russia’s Preexisting Infrastructure Woes
Kursk, Russia — In what might be the most anticlimactic invasion in recent history, Ukrainian forces found that their bombardment…
Read MoreIsrael to Allow Journalists from North Sentinel Island into Gaza
In a move that has left the global journalism community both baffled and outraged, Israel has announced that it will…
Read MoreUkraine Welcomes Growing Wave of Russian Refugees Fleeing Kremlin Control
A New Exodus: From Moscow to Mariupol In a twist of irony that even the most imaginative satirist could scarcely…
Read MoreUS Decides Rape is Acceptable Military Action
The United States has found a new benchmark for moral flexibility, with its decision to continue funneling military aid to…
Read MoreIsrael Expands West Bank Lebensraum Tactics to Target Christians
In a shocking escalation of its controversial policies, Israel has now set its sights on targeting Christian communities in the…
Read MoreUS Government Proudly Announces Plan to Shelter All Homeless Veterans in National Forests
Washington, D.C. – In a bold move hailed as a win for both veterans and the environment, the U.S. government…
Read MoreRussia Applies to NATO for Defence Against Ukraine
Russia, a nation renowned for its military prowess and unparalleled ability to invade neighbors, has now found itself in a…
Read MorePutin Claims Kursk is “Historically Disputed” as Ukrainian Forces Advance
In a staggering twist of revisionist history, Vladimir Putin has now declared that the Kursk region, currently being overrun by…
Read MoreIsrael Mulls Expanding Lebensraum to Lebanon
In a development that seems ripped from the pages of a history book best left in the past, Israel is…
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Republicans Declare Masturbation a Form of Abortion
In a bold move that has left hands across America either clasped in prayer or firmly in pockets, the Republican…
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