We Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Polly TickleWashington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
Read MoreBomb Craters in Kursk Barely Noticeable Due to Russia’s Preexisting Infrastructure Woes
Kursk, Russia — In what might be the most anticlimactic invasion in recent history, Ukrainian forces found that their bombardment…
Read MoreIsrael to Allow Journalists from North Sentinel Island into Gaza
In a move that has left the global journalism community both baffled and outraged, Israel has announced that it will…
Read MoreUkraine Welcomes Growing Wave of Russian Refugees Fleeing Kremlin Control
A New Exodus: From Moscow to Mariupol In a twist of irony that even the most imaginative satirist could scarcely…
Read MoreUS Decides Rape is Acceptable Military Action
The United States has found a new benchmark for moral flexibility, with its decision to continue funneling military aid to…
Read MoreIsrael Expands West Bank Lebensraum Tactics to Target Christians
In a shocking escalation of its controversial policies, Israel has now set its sights on targeting Christian communities in the…
Read MoreUS Government Proudly Announces Plan to Shelter All Homeless Veterans in National Forests
Washington, D.C. – In a bold move hailed as a win for both veterans and the environment, the U.S. government…
Read MoreRussia Applies to NATO for Defence Against Ukraine
Russia, a nation renowned for its military prowess and unparalleled ability to invade neighbors, has now found itself in a…
Read MorePutin Claims Kursk is “Historically Disputed” as Ukrainian Forces Advance
In a staggering twist of revisionist history, Vladimir Putin has now declared that the Kursk region, currently being overrun by…
Read MoreIsrael Mulls Expanding Lebensraum to Lebanon
In a development that seems ripped from the pages of a history book best left in the past, Israel is…
Read MoreBritain Debates Whether to Pause Genocide Aid or Just Delay It
In a move that has stirred significant controversy, the United Kingdom is currently debating whether to pause its arms exports…
Read MoreUkraine Begins Special Military Operation in Russia
Ukraine’s Bold Move: An Unthinkable Invasion of Russia In what appears to be an audacious twist in the ongoing Russo-Ukrainian…
Read MoreSouth African Immigrant Promises to Destroy Country
In a shocking turn of events, Elon Musk, the South African-born billionaire, seems hell-bent on dismantling the very fabric of…
Read MoreUN Unveils ‘Peace Through Pizza’ Program in Desperate Attempt to Recover World Peace
In a world increasingly beset by conflict and division, the United Nations has launched an unconventional and savory new initiative:…
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Republicans Declare Masturbation a Form of Abortion
In a bold move that has left hands across America either clasped in prayer or firmly in pockets, the Republican…
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