MTG Proposes Ban on Balloons: “They’re Just Chinese Spy Unicorns in Disguise”
Polly TickleWashington D.C. – In a move that has left both party planners and national security experts bewildered, firebrand congresswoman Marjorie…
Read MoreRepublicans Mistakenly Believes “Deepfake” Politician Is a Refreshing Change from the Usual Liars
In an era where trust in political figures wanes and digital technology reaches unprecedented heights, a nation has found itself…
Read MoreIn a Twist of Fate, Uncle Sam Swaps Hats: From Roadblock to Peacemaker in Gaza”
In a move as predictable as a plot twist in a daytime soap opera, the United States, previously the lone…
Read MoreFar-Right Party Chega Floats Portugal Wall Idea, Aims To Keep Away Mexicans
Lisbon, Portugal – In a move that has left cartographers and geographers scratching their heads, Portugal’s far-right party, Chega, has…
Read MoreChinese Investment in Education Soars After Discovering Students Can Be Taught to Mine Bitcoin
In a move that would make Confucius raise an eyebrow, China’s education system is undergoing a dramatic shift. Forget rote…
Read MoreEurope’s Newest Import: The Full-Scale War Experience
Europe, the land of charming cobblestone streets, fine wines, and centuries-old cathedrals, has always been a top travel destination. But…
Read MoreKenyan Cops Pack for Haitian “Vacation”: UN’s Latest Anti-Gang Initiative Sparks New Fashion Trend in Body Armor Beachwear
The beaches of Haiti were just expecting the usual tide of tourists. Instead, they’re about to receive a surge of…
Read MoreNew Middle East Urban Development Plan: More Rubble, Less Trouble
In a groundbreaking move sure to raise eyebrows (and possibly dust clouds), several Middle Eastern nations have announced a revolutionary…
Read MoreRussian Ambassador Too Much Innocent Death In Gaza, Even For Us
In a world where diplomatic subtleties are often lost in translation, the Russian Ambassador’s latest statement has sent shockwaves through…
Read MoreInternational Community Sends Putin Congratulations, Along with a Dictionary Definition of ‘Election
In an unprecedented display of global camaraderie—or perhaps, satire—the international community has come together to congratulate Vladimir Putin on his…
Read MoreThe Gaza Diet: Slimming Secrets of a Siege
In a world obsessed with the latest diet trends and weight-loss fads, a new contender has emerged from an unlikely…
Read MorePutin Announces New Vacation Spot: Eastern Ukraine “Has Surprisingly Affordable Summer Rentals”
In a statement that has left the international community flabbergasted, Russian President Vladimir Putin has highlighted Eastern Ukraine as the…
Read MorePolice Issue Over 300 Citations for Inappropriate Use of Shamrock-Shaped Sunglasses This Paddy’s Day
In a crackdown on questionable fashion choices and a surprising display of sartorial policing, police departments across the nation found…
Read MoreSober St. Patrick’s Day” Movement Gains Traction, Promptly Abandoned After Two Hours of Boredom
In a misguided attempt to inject a dose of mindfulness into the chaos of March 17th, the “Sober St. Patrick’s…
Read MoreFight Islamophobia Day Cancelled, Israel Claims It’s Antisemitic
The annual Fight Islamophobia Day campaign has been unexpectedly thrust into controversy after the Israeli Ministry of Culture issued a…
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