EU Pledges to Support Refugees Back on Boats Amidst Calls for More Serious Solutions
Polly TickleIn a move that has raised eyebrows across the continent, the European Union has pledged to support refugees by putting…
Read MoreNetanyahu: “Genocide Merely a Tragic Error”
In a statement that has sparked international outrage, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu referred to the recent bombing in Rafah,…
Read MoreHarvard Study Confirms: Harambe’s Death Behind Geopolitical Turmoil
In a shocking revelation, a recent study from Harvard University has concluded that the tragic death of Harambe, the beloved…
Read MoreIDF Kills Egyptian Soldier, Netanyahu Apologizes, Insists They Thought He Was a Gazan Citizen
In a tragic incident that has further strained regional relations, the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) mistakenly killed an Egyptian soldier…
Read MoreUS Claims New Gaza Port Doesn’t Exist, Calls It a ‘Mirage’
In a bizarre turn of events, the United States has declared that the newly constructed port in Gaza, which was…
Read MoreIDF Chief Shocked to Discover Tents Are Flammable
In a statement that has left many in disbelief, the Chief of the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) expressed shock upon…
Read MoreBiden: “If Nazis Used Missiles Instead of Death Camps, The Holocaust Would’ve Been Acceptable”
In a statement that has ignited a firestorm of controversy and condemnation, President Joe Biden suggested that if the Nazis…
Read MoreNew Dutch Government to Ban Fish & Chips In New Push Against English Tourists
The new Dutch government has announced a groundbreaking decision that is making waves across Europe. In an unprecedented move, they…
Read MoreApple’s Rumoured AirTag 2 Set to Revolutionize the Stalking Industry
The Crustian Daily has learned of rumors suggesting that Apple’s upcoming AirTag 2 will introduce groundbreaking features set to revolutionize…
Read MoreIsrael: “All Efforts Were Made to Prevent Civilian Life”
In a statement that has sent shockwaves through the international community, the Israeli government declared that “all efforts were made…
Read MoreHow Wagner Makes French Troops Look Competent: A Masterclass in Mismanagement
In a move that has left international observers scratching their heads, the government of Mali decided to replace the French…
Read MoreHead of Lettuce Considers Rejoining UK Politics, Expected to Run as Independent
In a surprising twist that has left the British political scene in stitches, the infamous Head of Lettuce, which famously…
Read MoreFact-Checking Now Considered Physical Assault in Texas
In an unexpected twist of legislative creativity, Texas has taken the bold step of redefining reality itself. A newly passed…
Read MoreHundreds of Thousands of ‘Anti-Semitic’ Jewish People Protest War in Tel Aviv
In a remarkable and somewhat paradoxical turn of events, Tel Aviv has witnessed its largest anti-war demonstration to date, with…
Read MoreChinese Military Wraps Up Invasion Practice, World Watches Anxiously
In a display of military might that has sent ripples across the globe, the Chinese military has concluded its latest…
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