Finnish Ice Hockey Teams to Swap Sticks for Lightsabers, Aiming for a More ‘Enlightened’ Game
Chip ByteleyIn a move that seems ripped from a space opera script, the notoriously aggressive Finnish Ice Hockey League has announced…
Read MoreEurope’s Newest Import: The Full-Scale War Experience
Polly TickleEurope, the land of charming cobblestone streets, fine wines, and centuries-old cathedrals, has always been a top travel destination. But…
Read MoreNew Middle East Urban Development Plan: More Rubble, Less Trouble
In a groundbreaking move sure to raise eyebrows (and possibly dust clouds), several Middle Eastern nations have announced a revolutionary…
Read MoreRussian Ambassador Too Much Innocent Death In Gaza, Even For Us
In a world where diplomatic subtleties are often lost in translation, the Russian Ambassador’s latest statement has sent shockwaves through…
Read MoreInternational French Language Day Introduces ‘Le Texte Twist’: Autocorrect Everything To French
In a move designed to boost global appreciation of the French language (and cause widespread linguistic mayhem), the organizers of…
Read MoreFrench Bulldogs to Lead International French Language Day Parade: Finally, a Role That Speaks to Them
Move over, esteemed linguists and poets! This year, the International French Language Day Parade will be spearheaded by a rather…
Read MoreInternational Community Sends Putin Congratulations, Along with a Dictionary Definition of ‘Election
In an unprecedented display of global camaraderie—or perhaps, satire—the international community has come together to congratulate Vladimir Putin on his…
Read MoreThe Gaza Diet: Slimming Secrets of a Siege
In a world obsessed with the latest diet trends and weight-loss fads, a new contender has emerged from an unlikely…
Read MorePutin Announces New Vacation Spot: Eastern Ukraine “Has Surprisingly Affordable Summer Rentals”
In a statement that has left the international community flabbergasted, Russian President Vladimir Putin has highlighted Eastern Ukraine as the…
Read MorePolice Issue Over 300 Citations for Inappropriate Use of Shamrock-Shaped Sunglasses This Paddy’s Day
In a crackdown on questionable fashion choices and a surprising display of sartorial policing, police departments across the nation found…
Read MoreSober St. Patrick’s Day” Movement Gains Traction, Promptly Abandoned After Two Hours of Boredom
In a misguided attempt to inject a dose of mindfulness into the chaos of March 17th, the “Sober St. Patrick’s…
Read MoreIrish Expats Worldwide Discover That No Other Country Knows How to Celebrate St. Paddy’s Day Properly
Every March 17th, as the world turns a questionable shade of green, Irish expats embark on a quest of both…
Read MoreFight Islamophobia Day Cancelled, Israel Claims It’s Antisemitic
The annual Fight Islamophobia Day campaign has been unexpectedly thrust into controversy after the Israeli Ministry of Culture issued a…
Read MoreRussia Introduces World’s First ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Election
In a bold move that has game theorists and political pundits alike scrambling for their textbooks, Russia has unveiled the…
Read MoreRussian Elections Announce New Breakthrough in Predictive Technology: Winners Declared Before Voting Begins
Russian officials have proudly announced a revolutionary breakthrough in predictive technology: the ability to declare election winners before the cumbersome…
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