Netanyahu’s New Strategy: If We’re Losing, It’s Because We Didn’t Enter Rafah
Polly TicklePrime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s recent unveiling of a new approach to Israel’s security and military posture has not just made…
Read MorePortuguese Far-Right Party to Introduce Mandatory Siesta, Cites Historical Exhaustion
Portugal’s far-right “Partido da Sesta” (Siesta Party) is surging in popularity with its unorthodox central campaign promise: a mandatory siesta…
Read MoreUltra-Orthodox Jews in Israel to Launch New Fitness Craze: Dodging the Draft
In a bid to blend tradition with the modern world’s obsession with fitness, Israel’s Ultra-Orthodox community has unveiled a groundbreaking…
Read MoreUK Explores Migrant Expulsions to Narnia
LONDON – In a move that would leave even C.S. Lewis scratching his head, the UK Home Office is reportedly…
Read MoreGaza’s Latest Truce Proposal Includes Bong Session Between Leaders, World Leaders Skeptical
In a bold move that has left the international community both perplexed and mildly amused, Gaza’s latest proposal for a…
Read MoreRishi Sunak Declares Democracy at Risk, Suggests British Tea Might Be the Solution
UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has declared democracy itself to be under siege. However, his proposed remedy to this existential…
Read MoreRyanair Introduces Standing Room Only Tickets for Short Flights
Chip ByteleyIn an audacious pivot from budget flying to budget standing, Ryanair has announced its plan to introduce “vertical travel accommodations”…
Read MoreGaza to Be Renamed ‘Schrodinger’s City’: Simultaneously Exists and Doesn’t in International Policy
In a move that has baffled diplomats and physicists alike, Gaza is set to be renamed ‘Schrodinger’s City’, embodying its…
Read MoreIsrael’s Latest Strategy: Redecorating Gaza with Precision Airstrikes
The latest strategy out of the geopolitical playbook involves “redecorating” the Gaza Strip using precision airstrikes. This innovative approach aims…
Read MoreBen Gvir Announces Concept of Food Aid as a Hamas Ideal
In a twist that could vex even the most astute satirist, Israeli National Security Minister Itamar Ben Gvir’s latest proclamations…
Read More30,000 Dead, Israel Competing In ‘Olympics of Accusation’
In a perpetual tableau of sorrow, one that seems to loop endlessly across the timeline of recent history, the streets…
Read MoreNATO Increases Donations of ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ to Ukraine
In a groundbreaking move that’s set the international stage abuzz, NATO has reportedly ramped up its contributions to Ukraine, not…
Read MoreIsraeli Property Developers Excited for New Gazan Prospects
In a surprising turn of events that has left the international community both baffled and intrigued, Israeli property developers have…
Read MoreIran and Israel Commit to Peaceful Explosions in Joint Effort to Avoid Escalation
In an unprecedented move that has left the global stage both baffled and intrigued, officials from Iran and Israel have…
Read MoreUS Requests ‘Polite’ Missile Exchange Between Israel and Iran to Keep Things Civil
In a daring blend of diplomacy and daytime drama, the United States has reportedly asked Iran to entertain a ‘polite’…
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