UN Unveils ‘Peace Through Pizza’ Program in Desperate Attempt to Recover World Peace
Polly TickleIn a world increasingly beset by conflict and division, the United Nations has launched an unconventional and savory new initiative:…
Read MoreElon Musk Outlines Plans to Solve World Hunger by Eating the Poor
Chip ByteleyIn a shocking turn of events, tech billionaire Elon Musk has unveiled a controversial new plan to tackle world hunger:…
Read MoreVegan Sharks: Scientists Engineer First Meat-Averse Great White
A team of scientists at the Aquatic Future Lab have successfully engineered the world’s first meat-averse great white shark, affectionately…
Read MoreNew Study Reveals Vegans Spend More Time Arguing About Diet Than Eating
In a revelation that has sparked both laughter and debate, a new study has found that vegans spend more time…
Read MoreAfter Years of Searching, Gordon Ramsay Finally Found the Lamb Sauce
In a culinary saga that has captivated the internet for years, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has finally discovered the elusive…
Read MoreTesco to Launch ‘Choose Your Own Expiry Date’ on Perishables
Grocery shopping is about to get a lot more philosophical. UK supermarket giant Tesco is venturing into uncharted territory with…
Read MoreScientists Announce Microplastics as the New Superfood: Part of Your Daily Detox!
In an unprecedented turn of events, scientists have discovered the latest addition to the health food craze: microplastics. These tiny…
Read More“Quirky” Coffee Shop Charges Extra for Customers Who Don’t Use Obscure Coffee Lingo
In a move that’s likely to alienate caffeine-fueled patrons and baristas alike, a trendy new coffee shop has ruffled feathers…
Read MorePhD Required to Operate New Mcdonalds Ice Cream Machines, Says Manufacture
Forget a simple instruction manual—McDonald’s infamous ice cream machines are about to become significantly less approachable. The manufacturer, in a…
Read MoreA Culinary Disaster Playbook: How to Salvage Burnt Dinners, Exploding Cakes, and Other Kitchen Nightmares with Grace (or at Least, Delivery Apps)
Embarking on a kitchen adventure can sometimes turn into an episode of “Survivor: The Home Edition.” Whether it’s a charred…
Read MoreLocal Man Declares Bankruptcy from Buying Avocados
In a tale that speaks to the harsh economic realities faced by an entire generation, a local man, identified only…
Read MoreFDA Approves First Ever Subscription-Based Food Pyramid
In a revolutionary move that has dietitians throwing their kale smoothies against the wall in frustration, the FDA has announced…
Read MoreLatest Diet Trend: ‘Air-Only’ Fast Claims to Detoxify Body, Wallet, and Social Life
Forget juice cleanses and cabbage soup diets; there’s a new sheriff in the weight-loss world, and it’s lighter than air…literally.…
Read MorePlants Feel Pain: The End of Vegetarianism As We Know It?
Crustian Satirical Daily News (CSDN) – In a revelation that has shaken the foundations of dietary ethics worldwide, a groundbreaking…
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Nicotine-Flavored Broccoli Proposed as Teen Vaping Deterrent
In what might be the most 21st-century twist in the tale of vaping regulations, governments from every corner of the…
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