Water Bottle Sales Surge: ‘Hydrate Like It’s Your Job’ Becomes Ramadan Mantra
Chip ByteleyIn a twist even the most seasoned economists couldn’t have predicted, the holy month of Ramadan has triggered an unprecedented…
Read MoreCan’t Afford Healthcare? No Problem! DIY Surgery Kits Offer Cost-Effective Self-Amputation
Polly TickleIn a move fueled by either desperation or delusion, DIY surgery kits are experiencing a horrifying surge in popularity, driven…
Read MoreVaccine Does Half the Job, CDC Half-Excited
DominickWith precision that could only be described as “mathematically muddled,” this latest statistic has plunged the public into a semi-state…
Read MoreCorporate America Achieves Peak Self-Awareness: Offers Mental Health Days to Recover from…More Corporate Meetings
In a move baffling both mental health professionals and office-dwellers alike, corporations nationwide have begun a curious new initiative: offering…
Read MorePortugal’s Political Parties Consider Group Therapy After Election
Burnt Out and Bitter: Portuguese Politicians Seek Post-Election Counseling After a particularly grueling election cycle marked by mudslinging, social media…
Read MoreForget Juice Cleanses, Fasting, and Keto: Photosynthesis is the Hot New Diet Trend
Move over, celery juice and bone broth – there’s a new health craze sweeping the wellness world, and it requires…
Read MorePresident Biden Uses State of the Union to Unveil New Age-Defying Cream: Promises to Reduce National Debt and Wrinkles
In a history-making (or wrinkle-reducing?) address, President Biden addressed the nation last night, tackling two of America’s most pressing concerns:…
Read MoreMessi’s Bench-Warming Sparks Outrage and Health Debate in China
In a move that’s causing ripples far beyond the football field, Lionel Messi’s recent decision to remain on the bench…
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New Study Finds: Pub Regulars May Live Longer Thanks to Daily Dose of Sarcasm
In a discovery that will surely raise pints of celebration across the land, a groundbreaking new study has revealed a…
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