Therapist Accidentally Fixes Client’s Anxiety by Canceling Session for the Fourth Time in a Row
Liv N. LargeIn an unexpected twist that has left both professionals and patients baffled, a local therapist has inadvertently cured her client’s…
Read MoreOpinion: ‘The Best Part of Adult Friendships Is Pretending to Want to Meet Up Someday’
Let’s be honest for a moment: The best part of adult friendships isn’t the shared history, the inside jokes, or…
Read MoreLocal Teen’s Pregnancy Excuse Kick-starts New Religion
In a small town where nothing extraordinary ever happens, a local teen’s bizarre excuse for an unexpected pregnancy has ignited…
Read MoreNorthern England Welcomes Tourism Boost Through ‘Poverty Tourism’
Polly TickleIn a bid to revitalize its struggling economy, Northern England has turned to an unusual new industry: “poverty tourism.” This…
Read MoreStudy Finds 90% of Online Arguments Solved by Agreeing to Disagree
Chip ByteleyIn a revelation that could revolutionize keyboard warfare as we know it, a recent study conducted by the Institute of…
Read MoreParents Find Son Missing Since Start of Pandemic While Decluttering Basement
Springfield, IL — A local family made a shocking discovery this week after deciding to finally tackle their pandemic clutter:…
Read MoreLocal Man, 30, Still Waiting for His Hogwarts Letter
In a small, rather unremarkable town that could be anywhere but is nowhere near the hidden twists and turns of…
Read MoreKids Sue Parents for Bringing Them Into This Mess Without Permission
Los Angeles, CA — In what legal experts are calling the most ambitious lawsuit since someone tried to trademark the…
Read MoreApple Unveils Revolutionary ‘Work from Womb’ Initiative Promising Productivity Before Birth
Apple has done it again. Just when we thought they’d exhausted every possible way to integrate technology into the most…
Read MoreLocal Woman Perfects Online Shopping Cart Without Ever Making a Purchase
Emma Driscoll, 32, has achieved what many consider the ultimate zen of online retail: the perfectly curated shopping cart, without…
Read MoreSecret to Immortality Discovered: Just Be Wealthy
A new report, published in the prestigious Journal of Things We Already Knew, reveals that individuals with vast fortunes are…
Read MoreAthletes Complain Paris Air Quality Worse Than Doping Side Effects
In a surprising turn of events, athletes competing in the upcoming Paris Olympics have voiced their concerns about the city’s…
Read MoreMan Claims ‘No Time for Gym,’ Spends Most Days Stoned on His Couch
In an astonishing revelation, local man Todd Mitchell, 32, has declared he has “no time for the gym,” citing his…
Read MoreGovernment Announces New Tax on Conspiracy Theorists
The Commission on Presidential Debates has announced that all future presidential debates will now feature live lie detector tests, a…
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Nicotine-Flavored Broccoli Proposed as Teen Vaping Deterrent
In what might be the most 21st-century twist in the tale of vaping regulations, governments from every corner of the…
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