Sober St. Patrick’s Day” Movement Gains Traction, Promptly Abandoned After Two Hours of Boredom
Polly TickleIn a misguided attempt to inject a dose of mindfulness into the chaos of March 17th, the “Sober St. Patrick’s…
Read MoreIrish Expats Worldwide Discover That No Other Country Knows How to Celebrate St. Paddy’s Day Properly
Chip ByteleyEvery March 17th, as the world turns a questionable shade of green, Irish expats embark on a quest of both…
Read MoreVaccine Does Half the Job, CDC Half-Excited
DominickWith precision that could only be described as “mathematically muddled,” this latest statistic has plunged the public into a semi-state…
Read MoreFurry Faith: Pets Mysteriously Embracing Ramadan Traditions
In a heartwarming (and slightly baffling) development, household pets across the globe appear to be observing Ramadan alongside their Muslim…
Read MoreCorporate America Achieves Peak Self-Awareness: Offers Mental Health Days to Recover from…More Corporate Meetings
In a move baffling both mental health professionals and office-dwellers alike, corporations nationwide have begun a curious new initiative: offering…
Read More‘Work from Home’ to Evolve into ‘Work from Reality’ With Virtual Reality Integration
The boundaries between our physical and digital workspaces are blurring, as employers and tech giants are betting big on a…
Read More5 Indoor Plants Even YOU Can’t Kill (For the Tragically Brown-Thumbed)
Let’s face it, some of us were born with sunshine coursing through our veins, nurturing every living thing we touch.…
Read MoreForget Juice Cleanses, Fasting, and Keto: Photosynthesis is the Hot New Diet Trend
Move over, celery juice and bone broth – there’s a new health craze sweeping the wellness world, and it requires…
Read MoreTech Company Celebrates International Women’s Day by Developing App That Detects Workplace Sexism with 50% Accuracy
In a move heralded as either “sorta progressive?” or “deeply misguided,” tech startup InnoBros Inc. celebrated International Women’s Day by…
Read MoreCelebrate Women in the Workplace! Businesses Announce “Radical” Initiative Where Women Receive Full Credit… For One Day
In a corporate gesture so patronizing it borders on performance art, businesses worldwide are marking International Women’s Day with a…
Read MoreGlobal Corporations Celebrate International Women’s Day by Giving Female Employees 23% Off Work Emails
In a display of corporate feminism that’s as insulting as it is mathematically infuriating, multinational corporations are marking International Women’s…
Read MoreFor International Women’s Day, World Leaders Agree to Swap Roles with Women, Anticipate Global Improvement by Noon
for International Women’s Day world leaders have unanimously agreed to step aside and let women run the show. Expectations are…
Read MoreFor International Women’s Day, World Agrees to Pretend Gender Pay Gap Is Just a Mythical Creature
In a heartwarming display of international cooperation, world leaders have come together this International Women’s Day to announce a groundbreaking…
Read MoreStrikes Paralyze German Transport: Nation Reverts to Horse and Buggy
In a scene straight out of a history book, a nationwide German transport strike has crippled the usually hyper-efficient public…
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Meta Meltdown: Outage Plunges Millions into the Dark Ages of Face-to-Face Communication
Meta platforms (Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp) suffered a catastrophic global outage, plunging millions of users into a horrifying reality: real-life interaction.…
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