Athletes Complain Paris Air Quality Worse Than Doping Side Effects
Liv N. LargeIn a surprising turn of events, athletes competing in the upcoming Paris Olympics have voiced their concerns about the city’s…
Read MoreMan Claims ‘No Time for Gym,’ Spends Most Days Stoned on His Couch
In an astonishing revelation, local man Todd Mitchell, 32, has declared he has “no time for the gym,” citing his…
Read MoreGovernment Announces New Tax on Conspiracy Theorists
Chip ByteleyThe Commission on Presidential Debates has announced that all future presidential debates will now feature live lie detector tests, a…
Read MoreWoman Accidentally Joins Zoom Book Club Meeting, Confuses Plot with Her Own Turbulent Love Life
Sarah Thompson, a woman known for her perpetually scattered state, accidentally sparked a heated discussion on toxic relationships, complicated family…
Read MoreDutch Government Introduces Revolutionary Plan to Solve Housing Crisis by Redefining Cargo Bikes as Apartments
Amsterdam, Netherlands – In a move set to revolutionize urban living and possibly redefine the very concept of “home,” the…
Read MoreWoman’s Yoga Journey for Inner Peace Ends in Road Rage Arrest
A Journey to Inner Peace Takes an Unexpected Detour In a bizarre twist of fate, Amanda Tranquil, a local yoga…
Read MoreShein Teams Up with ExxonMobil for New “Eco-Chic” Line of Clothing Dyed with Crude Oil
In a collaboration that can only be described as a match made in environmental hell, fast-fashion giant Shein has partnered…
Read MoreUS City Bans Bike Lanes Due to Anti-Segregation Laws
Polly TickleIn a move that has left urban planners and cycling enthusiasts scratching their heads, the city of Birmingham, Alabama has…
Read MoreNetflix Plans to Use AI to Inject Product Placement into Hollywood Classics
In a groundbreaking move that’s set to redefine the streaming experience, Netflix has announced plans to use advanced AI technology…
Read MoreSupreme Court to Decide If Pigs Have More Rights Than Women
Supreme Court to Decide If Pigs Have More Rights Than Women In an era of unprecedented legal decisions, the Supreme…
Read MoreGlobal Happiness Index Rises After Everyone Agrees to Lower Standards
The world is abuzz with a surprising announcement: the Global Happiness Index has reached an all-time high. The secret to…
Read MoreVatican to Consider Priests in Drag, in Push to Recover Community Trust
In a desperate bid to rehabilitate its tarnished image, the Vatican is reportedly contemplating a radical initiative: allowing priests to…
Read MoreEU to Make Pickup Default Option for Online Orders in Push for Green Shopping
In a landmark move aimed at promoting sustainability and reducing carbon emissions, the European Union is set to introduce regulations…
Read MoreU.S. Hospitals Form Partnerships with Local Drug Dealers to Cut Prescription Costs
In a bold and unorthodox move to address the rising costs of prescription medications, several U.S. hospitals have announced new…
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Governments Admit to Using Weather Machines to Increase Rainbows, Citing LGBTQ Rights
In a stunning revelation that has both dazzled and drenched the global population, governments worldwide have collectively admitted to the…
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