After Years of Searching, Gordon Ramsay Finally Found the Lamb Sauce
Chip ByteleyIn a culinary saga that has captivated the internet for years, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has finally discovered the elusive…
Read MoreIrish-American Shocked to Discover Ireland Really Exists
In a revelation that has left one Irish-American reeling, local resident Patrick O’Sullivan recently discovered that Ireland is not just…
Read MoreUPS and Chinese Manufacturers Conspire to Steal Customer Funds
Polly TickleIn a shocking revelation that has left customers fuming, it appears that UPS and certain Chinese manufacturers might be colluding…
Read MoreLocal Man Declares Himself ‘King of the Remote,’ Bans Romantic Comedies
In a household coup that has stunned his family and amused his friends, local man John Stevens has declared himself…
Read MoreNew Dutch Government to Ban Fish & Chips In New Push Against English Tourists
The new Dutch government has announced a groundbreaking decision that is making waves across Europe. In an unprecedented move, they…
Read MoreValedictorian Delivers Entire Graduation Speech in Emoji
It was a graduation ceremony unlike any other at Wellington University. As valedictorian Sarah Jones took the stage, the usual…
Read MoreValve Confirms: Your Steam Games Will Be Supported in the Afterlife
In a surprising move that blurs the line between the digital and the divine, Valve has announced that gamers need…
Read MoreApple’s Rumoured AirTag 2 Set to Revolutionize the Stalking Industry
The Crustian Daily has learned of rumors suggesting that Apple’s upcoming AirTag 2 will introduce groundbreaking features set to revolutionize…
Read MoreBrooklyn Apartment, Smaller Than Shoebox, Listed for $2 Million (Views of Brick Wall Included)
In a move that defies both logic and the concept of affordability, a real estate listing has sent New York…
Read MoreDublin-New York Omegle Experiment Reopens
After a hiatus marked by controversy and lewd behavior, the Dublin-New York portal has officially reopened, promising a renewed and…
Read MoreLocal Mom Saves Town from Economic Collapse by Actually Shopping Locally
In an extraordinary sequence of events, one local mother has effectively warded off an economic crisis in her small town…
Read MoreAirports Introduce ‘Security PreCheck’ for Those Who Donate to TSA
DominickThe Transportation Security Administration (TSA) appears to be taking airport security to a whole new (and highly questionable) level. Following…
Read MoreShein Research Clothes That Dissolve in Rain to Boost Sales
Forget poor quality or questionable labor practices. The latest controversy surrounding fast fashion giant Shein takes a bizarrely self-destructive turn.…
Read MoreTesco to Require Background Checks for Clubcard Loyalty Program
Tesco, the UK’s beloved grocery giant, has unveiled a shocking new addition to their iconic Clubcard loyalty program: mandatory background…
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“Quirky” Coffee Shop Charges Extra for Customers Who Don’t Use Obscure Coffee Lingo
In a move that’s likely to alienate caffeine-fueled patrons and baristas alike, a trendy new coffee shop has ruffled feathers…
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