NASA Searches For A Universe Without Amazon Prime Day
Chip ByteleyIn an ambitious new mission that blends the final frontier with online shopping, NASA has announced its plans to search…
Read MoreGOP Proposes Kindergarten for Embryos
Polly TickleThe GOP has taken its commitment to the “unborn scholar” to new heights, following Nikki Haley’s endorsement of recognizing embryos…
Read MoreNew Study Reveals Vegans Spend More Time Arguing About Diet Than Eating
In a revelation that has sparked both laughter and debate, a new study has found that vegans spend more time…
Read MoreAfter Years of Searching, Gordon Ramsay Finally Found the Lamb Sauce
In a culinary saga that has captivated the internet for years, celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has finally discovered the elusive…
Read MoreIrish-American Shocked to Discover Ireland Really Exists
In a revelation that has left one Irish-American reeling, local resident Patrick O’Sullivan recently discovered that Ireland is not just…
Read MoreUPS and Chinese Manufacturers Conspire to Steal Customer Funds
In a shocking revelation that has left customers fuming, it appears that UPS and certain Chinese manufacturers might be colluding…
Read MoreLocal Man Declares Himself ‘King of the Remote,’ Bans Romantic Comedies
In a household coup that has stunned his family and amused his friends, local man John Stevens has declared himself…
Read MoreNew Dutch Government to Ban Fish & Chips In New Push Against English Tourists
The new Dutch government has announced a groundbreaking decision that is making waves across Europe. In an unprecedented move, they…
Read MoreValedictorian Delivers Entire Graduation Speech in Emoji
It was a graduation ceremony unlike any other at Wellington University. As valedictorian Sarah Jones took the stage, the usual…
Read MoreValve Confirms: Your Steam Games Will Be Supported in the Afterlife
In a surprising move that blurs the line between the digital and the divine, Valve has announced that gamers need…
Read MoreApple’s Rumoured AirTag 2 Set to Revolutionize the Stalking Industry
The Crustian Daily has learned of rumors suggesting that Apple’s upcoming AirTag 2 will introduce groundbreaking features set to revolutionize…
Read MoreBrooklyn Apartment, Smaller Than Shoebox, Listed for $2 Million (Views of Brick Wall Included)
In a move that defies both logic and the concept of affordability, a real estate listing has sent New York…
Read MoreDublin-New York Omegle Experiment Reopens
After a hiatus marked by controversy and lewd behavior, the Dublin-New York portal has officially reopened, promising a renewed and…
Read MoreLocal Mom Saves Town from Economic Collapse by Actually Shopping Locally
In an extraordinary sequence of events, one local mother has effectively warded off an economic crisis in her small town…
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“Quirky” Coffee Shop Charges Extra for Customers Who Don’t Use Obscure Coffee Lingo
In a move that’s likely to alienate caffeine-fueled patrons and baristas alike, a trendy new coffee shop has ruffled feathers…
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