Santa Cancels Operations in Middle East as IDF Fails to Promise Safe Passage
Polly TickleIn an unprecedented move that has left children and parents across the Middle East devastated, Santa Claus has announced that…
Read MoreLocal Teen’s Pregnancy Excuse Kick-starts New Religion
Liv N. LargeIn a small town where nothing extraordinary ever happens, a local teen’s bizarre excuse for an unexpected pregnancy has ignited…
Read MoreAmerican Evangelicals Abandon Jesus After Actually Reading Bible, Still Claim to Be Christian
In what can only be described as a theological plot twist of biblical proportions, American Evangelicals are reportedly distancing themselves…
Read MoreGod Ignores Pope’s Plea for Priests
In a desperate plea to the heavens, Pope Francis has urged religious orders to pray for new priests and nuns…
Read MoreVatican to Consider Priests in Drag, in Push to Recover Community Trust
In a desperate bid to rehabilitate its tarnished image, the Vatican is reportedly contemplating a radical initiative: allowing priests to…
Read MoreHoly Sauce! Vatican Considers Canonization of Cheesus Crust, Patron Saint of Pizza
Chip ByteleyThe aroma of simmering marinara and rising dough fills the hallowed halls of the Vatican of Pizza, as a weighty…
Read MoreJesus or Chocolate? Theologians Debate True Meaning of Easter Amidst Candy Coma Epidemic
Sugar vs. Salvation: Theologians Debate the True Meaning of Easter as Candy Coma Cases Rise As Easter baskets overflow with…
Read MoreA Sweet Dystopia: Lindt’s Easter Egg Apocalypse
Lindt, the vanguard of velvety chocolate indulgences, has issued a stark warning ahead of Easter: the bunnies might not make…
Read MoreThe Great Debate: Toppings or No Toppings? Yeaster Schism Divides the Church of Crustianity
Holy Pizza Wars! Yeaster Schism Threatens to Tear Church of Crustianity Apart A theological earthquake is rocking the Church of…
Read MoreRamadan Midnight Snack Trends: Sleepwalkers Lead Charge to Refrigerator
As Ramadan progresses, the battle against hunger pangs during pre-dawn hours reaches new heights. This year, however, a peculiar trend…
Read MoreSuhoor Cooking Show Ratings Plummet: Viewers Too Sleepy to Follow Recipes
It seems even the most enticing culinary creations can’t overcome the overwhelming sleepiness that accompanies the Ramadan pre-dawn hours. Suhoor…
Read MorePrayer Mat Yoga: The Latest Wellness Trend This Ramadan
In a fusion that’s either divinely inspired or a marketing ploy destined for the wellness trend graveyard, behold: Prayer Mat…
Read MoreBreaking Fast with Superfoods: Avocado Dates Shake-Up Traditional Iftar
Move over, classic dates and water – get ready for a new-age Iftar trend as superfoods make their dramatic entrance…
Read MoreRamadan Reality TV Show Canceled: Contestants Too Hangry to Participate After Day One
A groundbreaking Ramadan reality TV show has been unceremoniously canceled after just one miserable day of filming. The concept, which…
Read MoreWater Bottle Sales Surge: ‘Hydrate Like It’s Your Job’ Becomes Ramadan Mantra
In a twist even the most seasoned economists couldn’t have predicted, the holy month of Ramadan has triggered an unprecedented…
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