Study Finds 90% of Online Arguments Solved by Agreeing to Disagree
Chip ByteleyIn a revelation that could revolutionize keyboard warfare as we know it, a recent study conducted by the Institute of…
Read MoreLocal Man, 30, Still Waiting for His Hogwarts Letter
In a small, rather unremarkable town that could be anywhere but is nowhere near the hidden twists and turns of…
Read MoreRepublicans Declare Masturbation a Form of Abortion
Polly TickleIn a bold move that has left hands across America either clasped in prayer or firmly in pockets, the Republican…
Read MoreGovernments Admit to Using Weather Machines to Increase Rainbows, Citing LGBTQ Rights
In a stunning revelation that has both dazzled and drenched the global population, governments worldwide have collectively admitted to the…
Read More“Quirky” Coffee Shop Charges Extra for Customers Who Don’t Use Obscure Coffee Lingo
In a move that’s likely to alienate caffeine-fueled patrons and baristas alike, a trendy new coffee shop has ruffled feathers…
Read MoreStudy Finds 9 out of 10 Americans Prefer Their Own Facts
A new study published in the esteemed journal “Not The Onion” has revealed a startling truth about the American public:…
Read MoreNew Charity Aims to Raise Financial Aid for the Super Rich
In a heartwarming display of compassion that would make Scrooge blush, the nation’s wealthiest elite have launched a groundbreaking new…
Read More10 Signs You’re Officially “Old” (That Have Nothing to Do With Age)
In an era where digitization seems to reinvent our lives every second Tuesday, the venerable state of being “old” has…
Read MoreConspiracy Theories as a Hobby: How to Get Started
Ever get the feeling the world isn’t quite as it seems? That there are hidden forces pulling strings, orchestrating a…
Read MoreGlobal Conference on Procrastination Postponed Again
In what is becoming a recurring theme, the highly anticipated Global Conference on Procrastination has been postponed once more, setting…
Read MoreNew York Mayor Suggests Marathon Running as New Transport Network
From Traffic Jams to Running Clans – Extended Edition The recent announcement by the Mayor of New York City to…
Read MoreSenate Introduces Bill to Make ‘Unfollowing’ Politicians on Social Media a Federal Offense
In a daring leap towards what can only be described as “compulsory digital loyalty,” the U.S. Senate has unveiled legislation…
Read MoreVoting to be available via TikTok Polls in Bold Move to Increase Youth Turnout
In a bid to make democracy more “lit” and significantly boost youth voter turnout, authorities have announced a revolutionary new…
Read MoreThe Gaza Diet: IDF Praises benefits of eating grass
Touted as the cutting-edge in involuntary weight loss, the “Gaza Diet” emerges from the world’s most contested open-air locale, presenting…
Read More
Nicotine-Flavored Broccoli Proposed as Teen Vaping Deterrent
In what might be the most 21st-century twist in the tale of vaping regulations, governments from every corner of the…
Read More