Amazon and SpaceX Rush To Put Ads on Surface of the Moon
Chip ByteleyIn a move that has left astronomers and late-night stargazers alike scratching their heads, e-commerce giant Amazon and aerospace manufacturer…
Read MoreGoogle to Launch DNA Tests for Employees to Predict Sick Days
Google, the tech giant known for ambitious (and occasionally unsettling) innovations, is set to disrupt workplace wellness programs in a…
Read MoreBritish Telecommuters to Pay Road Tax Based on Internet Usage
In a scheme that would make even Orwell blush, British telecommuters could soon face a bizarre new tax: paying for…
Read MoreGoogle AI Recommends Users Glue Pizza to Ceiling for Better Wi-Fi
In a baffling and humorous twist, Google AI has made headlines for recommending users glue pizza to their ceilings to…
Read MoreValve Confirms: Your Steam Games Will Be Supported in the Afterlife
In a surprising move that blurs the line between the digital and the divine, Valve has announced that gamers need…
Read MoreApple’s Rumoured AirTag 2 Set to Revolutionize the Stalking Industry
Polly TickleThe Crustian Daily has learned of rumors suggesting that Apple’s upcoming AirTag 2 will introduce groundbreaking features set to revolutionize…
Read MoreFuture iPhones to Automatically Delete Neglected Contacts
In a move guaranteed to either streamline your life or trigger an existential crisis about the fleeting nature of modern…
Read MoreUS Census to Include Questions on Netflix Viewing Habits to Better Understand Population Trends
The next time you gear up for a marathon streaming session, remember this: The US Census Bureau might be taking…
Read MoreGoogle’s Mental Health Masterplan: Wellness Days That Guarantee More Stress
Google, in a display of corporate doublethink that would impress even George Orwell, has unveiled a new mental health initiative…
Read MoreFarming Simulator ‘25 To Feature Disruptive Protesting
Get ready to ditch your plow and pick up a protest sign! The surprisingly popular Farming Simulator series is about…
Read MoreMicrosoft to Insert Ads into Your Powerpoint Presentations
In what could be hailed as the most innovative disruption to office productivity since the invention of the clip-on tie,…
Read More“My Smart Home Hates Me”: When A.I. Goes Rogue and Your Toaster Judges You
When your house knows more about your preferences than you do, we’ve stumbled upon an inconvenient truth: artificial intelligence doesn’t…
Read MoreTinder Dating Algorithms To Match Users Based on Mutual Trauma
Tinder just got a whole lot more emotionally complex. In a move that’s either disturbingly brilliant or a sign of…
Read MoreInternet Pop Ups Find New Life in Elon Musk’s Neuralink
In an unexpected twist of technological evolution, the once dreaded internet pop-up ads have found a new arena: Elon Musk’s…
Read MoreUber to Launch New Service: UberHuman, Rent a Crowd for Any Occasion
Uber, that ubiquitous app known for delivering rides and takeout, is about to take a sharp turn into the realm…
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