Supreme Court Set to Approve Elon Musk’s Purchase of the Country
Polly TickleIn a development that seems both inevitable and absurd, the Supreme Court is reportedly poised to approve Elon Musk’s audacious…
Read MoreHysterical Man Covered in Cheeto Dust Becomes President of the USA
In an unprecedented twist that left the nation both amused and bewildered, Donald J. Trump has been elected President of…
Read MoreJoe Biden to Invite God to Gaza Peace Talks
In a move that has political analysts scratching their heads and theologians intrigued, President Joe Biden has announced his intentions…
Read MoreSupreme Court Votes 5-4 to Bring Back the 19th Century
In a shocking and highly controversial decision, the Supreme Court has narrowly voted 5-4 to roll back American society to…
Read MoreElon Musk and Donald Trump to Escape to Mars if Kamala Wins
The 2024 election could be the most consequential in history—literally out of this world, if the latest rumors are to…
Read MoreUS Military Stocks Up on Sticks and Stones in Preparation for WW4
In an unprecedented move that has left military analysts scratching their heads, the United States Army has announced it is…
Read MoreWe Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
Read MoreUS Decides Rape is Acceptable Military Action
The United States has found a new benchmark for moral flexibility, with its decision to continue funneling military aid to…
Read MoreUS Government Proudly Announces Plan to Shelter All Homeless Veterans in National Forests
Washington, D.C. – In a bold move hailed as a win for both veterans and the environment, the U.S. government…
Read More“MyNuggetsMrBigHands”: Iran’s Intelligence Agency Exposes Trump’s Password in Unprecedented Security Breach
DominickIn what can only be described as an explosive revelation, Iran’s intelligence agency has allegedly penetrated the inner workings of…
Read MoreAmerican Evangelicals Abandon Jesus After Actually Reading Bible, Still Claim to Be Christian
Liv N. LargeIn what can only be described as a theological plot twist of biblical proportions, American Evangelicals are reportedly distancing themselves…
Read MoreSouth African Immigrant Promises to Destroy Country
In a shocking turn of events, Elon Musk, the South African-born billionaire, seems hell-bent on dismantling the very fabric of…
Read MoreTrump to Identify as Black After Car Crash Interview
In a bizarre twist, former President Donald Trump has announced he will identify as Black following a car crash interview…
Read MoreTrump Takes Up Meditation to Cope with Kamala-Induced Stress
In a surprising and somewhat comical twist, Donald Trump has reportedly turned to meditation to manage his growing anxiety over…
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Republicans Declare Masturbation a Form of Abortion
In a bold move that has left hands across America either clasped in prayer or firmly in pockets, the Republican…
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