Six Nations: Seeking Volunteers to Explain the Rules to Americans
Chip ByteleyAmerican Newbies Watch, But Who Can Explain the Rules? The annual Six Nations rugby tournament is upon us, and the…
Read MoreNew Middle East Urban Development Plan: More Rubble, Less Trouble
Polly TickleIn a groundbreaking move sure to raise eyebrows (and possibly dust clouds), several Middle Eastern nations have announced a revolutionary…
Read MoreCorporate America Achieves Peak Self-Awareness: Offers Mental Health Days to Recover from…More Corporate Meetings
In a move baffling both mental health professionals and office-dwellers alike, corporations nationwide have begun a curious new initiative: offering…
Read MorePresident Biden Uses State of the Union to Unveil New Age-Defying Cream: Promises to Reduce National Debt and Wrinkles
In a history-making (or wrinkle-reducing?) address, President Biden addressed the nation last night, tackling two of America’s most pressing concerns:…
Read MoreNikki Haley Exits Presidential Race, Says She Misread ‘Run for President’ as ‘Run from President’
Nikki Haley, former UN Ambassador and once a promising contender for the Republican presidential nomination, has announced her abrupt withdrawal…
Read MoreDartmouth Hoops Squad Forms Union, Requests Salaries in Pizza Slices and Unlimited Coffee Passes
The Dartmouth Big Green basketball team has officially formed a union. Citing exploitative practices, unreasonable hours, and a concerning lack…
Read MoreU.S. Finally Swipes Right on Ceasefire Proposal After Playing Hard to Get
The United States, in a move akin to a seasoned Tinder pro, has finally swiped right on a ceasefire proposal…
Read MoreTrump and Biden Turn Super Tuesday into Super Smackdown, Wrestle for the Soul of America
In an electrifying turn of events that has taken the political world by storm and possibly rewritten the rules of…
Read MoreMedia Outlets: Aaron Bushnell Wasn’t a Protest, It Was Just a Hot Day
In a world where the media’s approach to news can sometimes be more enigmatic than the events they report on,…
Read MoreUnited Airlines’ Sky-High Safety on Return to Tel Aviv: Parachutes for Every Passenger
In an innovative twist on air travel safety, United Airlines has announced the resumption of its flights to Israel, with…
Read MoreUS Veto on Gaza Ceasefire Resolution: A Masterclass in Diplomatic Hypocrisy
The United States recently exercised its veto power at the United Nations Security Council, blocking a resolution that called for…
Read MoreTrump Unveils Exclusive $399 ‘Fraudster Flair’ Sneakers in Wake of Financial Penalty
Walk the Walk of Shame in Style In an audacious move that blurs the lines between political scandal and high…
Read MoreMinnesota Wild’s Win Over Blackhawks: A Beacon of Hope in Challenging Times
In an unexpected twist that has sports enthusiasts and cynics alike reevaluating their outlook on life, the Minnesota Wild’s recent…
Read MoreTrump and Haley’s South Carolina Smackdown Turns into Epic Rap Battle
In an unexpected twist to the Republican presidential race, the usual political debate format in South Carolina has been scrapped…
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Good Guys with Guns Sleep In Again: A Tale of Misguided Heroism in Kansas City
Kansas City, MO – In a shocking twist of fate that left the city reeling after its Super Bowl victory,…
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