Biden Says Operation Killing US Hostage Was Success
Polly TickleIn a statement that has left many scratching their heads, President Joe Biden has declared the recent joint operation by…
Read MoreRepublican Senator, Ted Cruz, Shocked To Discover Gaza On Map, Thought It Was Just a Policy Talking Point
Republican senator, Ted Cruz, admitted to reporters he was “utterly shocked” to discover that Gaza is, in fact, a real…
Read MoreTrump NFTs Now Accepted as Legal Tender in Several Red States
In a move that blurs the lines between digital assets and real-world currency, several red states have announced that they…
Read MorePentagon Cheers ‘Successful’ Raid: 200 Dead, 4 Rescued, Mission Accomplished!
Washington, D.C. – In a statement that has drawn international condemnation, the Pentagon hailed a recent IDF raid in Gaza…
Read MoreU.S. Congress Votes to Reject International Law
In a move that has left the global community bewildered, the U.S. Congress has voted to reject the International Criminal…
Read MoreGOP Proposes Kindergarten for Embryos
The GOP has taken its commitment to the “unborn scholar” to new heights, following Nikki Haley’s endorsement of recognizing embryos…
Read MorePanama and USA Sign Deal to Relocate Climate Deniers to Sinking Island
In a unique approach to addressing climate change skepticism, Panama and the USA have signed a groundbreaking agreement to relocate…
Read MoreGoogle to Launch DNA Tests for Employees to Predict Sick Days
Chip ByteleyGoogle, the tech giant known for ambitious (and occasionally unsettling) innovations, is set to disrupt workplace wellness programs in a…
Read MoreBiden Suggests Ceasefire After Ensuring Maximum Damage Achieved
In a move that has left many scratching their heads, President Joe Biden has suggested a ceasefire in Gaza after…
Read MoreFlorida Criminal Still Plans to Run for White House
Despite being found guilty of 34 felony counts related to falsifying business records to cover up a hush money payment,…
Read MoreUS Claims New Gaza Port Doesn’t Exist, Calls It a ‘Mirage’
In a bizarre turn of events, the United States has declared that the newly constructed port in Gaza, which was…
Read MoreBiden: “If Nazis Used Missiles Instead of Death Camps, The Holocaust Would’ve Been Acceptable”
In a statement that has ignited a firestorm of controversy and condemnation, President Joe Biden suggested that if the Nazis…
Read MoreValedictorian Delivers Entire Graduation Speech in Emoji
It was a graduation ceremony unlike any other at Wellington University. As valedictorian Sarah Jones took the stage, the usual…
Read MoreFact-Checking Now Considered Physical Assault in Texas
In an unexpected twist of legislative creativity, Texas has taken the bold step of redefining reality itself. A newly passed…
Read MoreChinese Military Wraps Up Invasion Practice, World Watches Anxiously
In a display of military might that has sent ripples across the globe, the Chinese military has concluded its latest…
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