French Bulldogs to Lead International French Language Day Parade: Finally, a Role That Speaks to Them
Chip ByteleyMove over, esteemed linguists and poets! This year, the International French Language Day Parade will be spearheaded by a rather…
Read MoreInternational Community Sends Putin Congratulations, Along with a Dictionary Definition of ‘Election
Polly TickleIn an unprecedented display of global camaraderie—or perhaps, satire—the international community has come together to congratulate Vladimir Putin on his…
Read MoreRussia Introduces World’s First ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Election
In a bold move that has game theorists and political pundits alike scrambling for their textbooks, Russia has unveiled the…
Read MoreRussian Elections Announce New Breakthrough in Predictive Technology: Winners Declared Before Voting Begins
Russian officials have proudly announced a revolutionary breakthrough in predictive technology: the ability to declare election winners before the cumbersome…
Read MoreViewer Ratings Skyrocket as Oscars Accidentally Broadcast a Popular Movie Instead of the Ceremony
In an unforeseen turn of events that Hollywood couldn’t have scripted better, this year’s Oscars broadcast took an unexpected detour,…
Read MoreMexico’s Presidential Palace Door Knocked Down: Protesters Claim They Were Just Looking for the Bathroom
Mexico City awoke to a scene straight out of a slapstick comedy (or a particularly ill-planned coup attempt). The once-imposing…
Read MoreGlobal Corporations Celebrate International Women’s Day by Giving Female Employees 23% Off Work Emails
In a display of corporate feminism that’s as insulting as it is mathematically infuriating, multinational corporations are marking International Women’s…
Read MoreFor International Women’s Day, World Leaders Agree to Swap Roles with Women, Anticipate Global Improvement by Noon
for International Women’s Day world leaders have unanimously agreed to step aside and let women run the show. Expectations are…
Read MoreU.S. Finally Swipes Right on Ceasefire Proposal After Playing Hard to Get
The United States, in a move akin to a seasoned Tinder pro, has finally swiped right on a ceasefire proposal…
Read MoreTrump and Biden Turn Super Tuesday into Super Smackdown, Wrestle for the Soul of America
In an electrifying turn of events that has taken the political world by storm and possibly rewritten the rules of…
Read MoreHouthis’ New Maritime Gardening Initiative: Fertilizing the Red Sea
The Houthi movement has announced the launch of a groundbreaking initiative: maritime gardening in the Red Sea. Dubbed “Fertilizing the…
Read MoreMoon Lander Odysseus Stages ‘Lie Down Protest’
In an unprecedented celestial event that’s got the whole world tilting their heads, the moon lander Odysseus, named after the…
Read MoreUnited Airlines’ Sky-High Safety on Return to Tel Aviv: Parachutes for Every Passenger
In an innovative twist on air travel safety, United Airlines has announced the resumption of its flights to Israel, with…
Read MoreUS Veto on Gaza Ceasefire Resolution: A Masterclass in Diplomatic Hypocrisy
The United States recently exercised its veto power at the United Nations Security Council, blocking a resolution that called for…
Read MoreIsrael’s Super Bowl Distraction: Peace, Love, and Bombing Refugees
In a move that surprised many and shocked more, Israel took its public relations strategy to unprecedented heights. Amid growing…
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