Liv N. Large
Polly Tickle
Chip Byteley
DominickFDA Approves Photosynthesis as Dietary Supplement
In a groundbreaking decision that’s got everyone from nutritionists to houseplants buzzing, the FDA has approved photosynthesis as an official…
Read MoreIn Effort to Reduce Commutes, Tesla Consider Moving Offices to Employee Living Rooms
In an unprecedented bid to annihilate the daily commute once and for all, Tesla has announced a groundbreaking new strategy:…
Read MoreInternational Space Station To Open Luxury Hotel Wing
In a groundbreaking endeavor that challenges the conventions of luxury travel, the International Space Station is poised to introduce its…
Read MoreResearchers Discover That Cats Can See WiFi Signals
In a stunning revelation that’s sending shockwaves through both the tech and pet communities, researchers at the University of Silicon…
Read MoreUK Explores Migrant Expulsions to Narnia
LONDON – In a move that would leave even C.S. Lewis scratching his head, the UK Home Office is reportedly…
Read MorePsychologists Warn of New Disorder: Wordle Withdrawal Symptoms Include Random Letter Shouting
The seemingly innocuous daily word puzzle, Wordle, has become a surprising global obsession, sweeping across nations and burrowing into our…
Read MoreGaza’s Latest Truce Proposal Includes Bong Session Between Leaders, World Leaders Skeptical
In a bold move that has left the international community both perplexed and mildly amused, Gaza’s latest proposal for a…
Read MoreTrump and Musk to Launch Joint Venture: Making Mars Great Again
Former U.S. President Donald Trump and billionaire space aficionado Elon Musk have announced a joint venture that is literally out…
Read MoreRishi Sunak Declares Democracy at Risk, Suggests British Tea Might Be the Solution
UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has declared democracy itself to be under siege. However, his proposed remedy to this existential…
Read MoreNew York City to Replace Streetlights with Bioluminescent Trees to Save on Electricity
In an eco-friendly yet possibly misguided effort to save on electricity, New York City has announced a groundbreaking plan to…
Read MoreRyanair Introduces Standing Room Only Tickets for Short Flights
In an audacious pivot from budget flying to budget standing, Ryanair has announced its plan to introduce “vertical travel accommodations”…
Read MoreNational Spelling Bee Adds Emojis to Official Dictionary
In a revolutionary twist that’s setting the internet abuzz, the venerable Scripps National Spelling Bee has announced the latest addition…
Read MoreGaza to Be Renamed ‘Schrodinger’s City’: Simultaneously Exists and Doesn’t in International Policy
In a move that has baffled diplomats and physicists alike, Gaza is set to be renamed ‘Schrodinger’s City’, embodying its…
Read MoreMount Everest to Offer Wi-Fi, Claims Loneliness at the Top
The authorities overseeing Mount Everest have announced plans to install Wi-Fi stations along the path to its peak. This groundbreaking…
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Global Conference on Procrastination Postponed Again
In what is becoming a recurring theme, the highly anticipated Global Conference on Procrastination has been postponed once more, setting…
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