Local Teen’s Pregnancy Excuse Kick-starts New Religion
Liv N. LargeIn a small town where nothing extraordinary ever happens, a local teen’s bizarre excuse for an unexpected pregnancy has ignited…
Read MoreAmerican Evangelicals Abandon Jesus After Actually Reading Bible, Still Claim to Be Christian
In what can only be described as a theological plot twist of biblical proportions, American Evangelicals are reportedly distancing themselves…
Read MoreGod Ignores Pope’s Plea for Priests
Polly TickleIn a desperate plea to the heavens, Pope Francis has urged religious orders to pray for new priests and nuns…
Read MoreVatican to Consider Priests in Drag, in Push to Recover Community Trust
In a desperate bid to rehabilitate its tarnished image, the Vatican is reportedly contemplating a radical initiative: allowing priests to…
Read MoreHoly Sauce! Vatican Considers Canonization of Cheesus Crust, Patron Saint of Pizza
Chip ByteleyThe aroma of simmering marinara and rising dough fills the hallowed halls of the Vatican of Pizza, as a weighty…
Read MoreA Sweet Dystopia: Lindt’s Easter Egg Apocalypse
Lindt, the vanguard of velvety chocolate indulgences, has issued a stark warning ahead of Easter: the bunnies might not make…
Read MoreMegachurch Installs “Express Lane” for Donations, Godliness Now Available with Upgrade
In a move that blurs the line between salvation and a theme park ride, a prominent megachurch has announced the…
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