Israel Was Enthusiastic About Ceasefire, Until It Was Time to Cease Fire
Polly TickleIn an unforeseen twist that shocked precisely nobody, the Israeli government’s enthusiasm for a ceasefire in the ongoing Rafah conflict…
Read MoreU.S. Surprised at Israel’s Long-Announced Rafah Offensive, Pauses Arms At Last
In a stunning turn of events that could only surprise a Rip Van Winkle or a remarkably uninformed mole, the…
Read MoreIsraeli Leaders Deny Gaza Blockade’s Impact: ‘Hunger Isn’t a War Crime, It’s a Diet Plan’
In a controversial statement, Israeli leaders have downplayed the severity of the Gaza blockade, dismissing concerns over its impact on…
Read MoreGaza’s Humanitarian Crisis ‘A Boon for International Aid Donations,’ Says Israel
In a controversial statement, Israeli officials have suggested that the ongoing humanitarian crisis in Gaza serves as a “boon for…
Read MoreWashington Warns ICC: ‘Justice Is a Privilege, Not a Right’
In a controversial move, the United States has warned the International Criminal Court (ICC) against its recent string of arrest…
Read MoreTel Aviv Unveils ‘Food for Freedom’ Program, Relies on Hunger to Foster Peace
In a controversial move, Israeli officials have launched a new program titled “Food for Freedom,” aiming to foster peace in…
Read MoreIsrael Proposes New Blockade Strategy: ‘Make Gaza an Island of Desperation’
In a controversial move, Israel has unveiled a new blockade strategy aimed at turning Gaza into an “island of desperation,”…
Read MoreGaza’s Latest Truce Proposal Includes Bong Session Between Leaders, World Leaders Skeptical
In a bold move that has left the international community both perplexed and mildly amused, Gaza’s latest proposal for a…
Read MoreGaza to Be Renamed ‘Schrodinger’s City’: Simultaneously Exists and Doesn’t in International Policy
In a move that has baffled diplomats and physicists alike, Gaza is set to be renamed ‘Schrodinger’s City’, embodying its…
Read MoreIsrael’s Latest Strategy: Redecorating Gaza with Precision Airstrikes
The latest strategy out of the geopolitical playbook involves “redecorating” the Gaza Strip using precision airstrikes. This innovative approach aims…
Read MoreBen Gvir Announces Concept of Food Aid as a Hamas Ideal
In a twist that could vex even the most astute satirist, Israeli National Security Minister Itamar Ben Gvir’s latest proclamations…
Read More30,000 Dead, Israel Competing In ‘Olympics of Accusation’
In a perpetual tableau of sorrow, one that seems to loop endlessly across the timeline of recent history, the streets…
Read MoreNetanyahu Refuses Early Election Calls, Says Only War Decides Leadership
In a bold move that has historians scrambling to check if Sparta has somehow taken over modern democracy, Prime Minister…
Read MoreIs Gaza’s Hospital Outage an Israeli Bid for a New Guinness World Record?
In a world where records are broken every day—from the longest pizza to the most people twerking simultaneously—rumors have emerged…
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The Gaza Diet: IDF Praises benefits of eating grass
Touted as the cutting-edge in involuntary weight loss, the “Gaza Diet” emerges from the world’s most contested open-air locale, presenting…
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