Vision Pro Just a Demo of Tim Cook’s ‘Cyborg’ Eye, According to Leak
Chip ByteleyIn a revelation that’s turning the tech world on its head, a leaked report suggests that Apple’s much-hyped Vision Pro…
Read MoreLocal Teen’s Pregnancy Excuse Kick-starts New Religion
Liv N. LargeIn a small town where nothing extraordinary ever happens, a local teen’s bizarre excuse for an unexpected pregnancy has ignited…
Read MoreNorthern England Welcomes Tourism Boost Through ‘Poverty Tourism’
Polly TickleIn a bid to revitalize its struggling economy, Northern England has turned to an unusual new industry: “poverty tourism.” This…
Read MoreSupreme Court Votes 5-4 to Bring Back the 19th Century
In a shocking and highly controversial decision, the Supreme Court has narrowly voted 5-4 to roll back American society to…
Read MoreNew Tesla Update Forces Crashes to Teach Drivers a Lesson
In a shocking new update, Tesla has reportedly introduced a feature that forces drivers into controlled crashes, all in the…
Read MoreElon Musk and Donald Trump to Escape to Mars if Kamala Wins
The 2024 election could be the most consequential in history—literally out of this world, if the latest rumors are to…
Read MoreStudy Finds 90% of Online Arguments Solved by Agreeing to Disagree
In a revelation that could revolutionize keyboard warfare as we know it, a recent study conducted by the Institute of…
Read MoreRussian Military Requests Aid from Irish Fishermen as Ukrainian Forces Threaten Crimea
In a bizarre twist to the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, the beleaguered Russian military has reportedly turned to…
Read MoreIsrael Successfully Converts Millions of Jews to Zionism
In a calculated move that has sent shockwaves through Jewish communities worldwide, Israel has effectively replaced traditional Judaism with a…
Read MoreParents Find Son Missing Since Start of Pandemic While Decluttering Basement
Springfield, IL — A local family made a shocking discovery this week after deciding to finally tackle their pandemic clutter:…
Read MoreWe Want a Ceasefire, Says Country Supplying the Bombs
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left the world both confused and amused, the United States has issued…
Read MoreElon Musk Reveals Twitter’s ‘X’ Stands For ‘Xenophobia’
Elon Musk, never one to shy away from controversy, has dropped a bombshell about his latest rebranding effort: Twitter’s transformation…
Read MoreIsrael to Allow Journalists from North Sentinel Island into Gaza
In a move that has left the global journalism community both baffled and outraged, Israel has announced that it will…
Read MoreUS Decides Rape is Acceptable Military Action
The United States has found a new benchmark for moral flexibility, with its decision to continue funneling military aid to…
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Nicotine-Flavored Broccoli Proposed as Teen Vaping Deterrent
In what might be the most 21st-century twist in the tale of vaping regulations, governments from every corner of the…
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