Scientists Scramble to Explain Why Mr. Beast Can’t be Cancelled
Chip ByteleyIn the turbulent seas of internet stardom, where public figures are more disposable than single-use plastics, one man continues to…
Read MoreTrump to Identify as Black After Car Crash Interview
Polly TickleIn a bizarre twist, former President Donald Trump has announced he will identify as Black following a car crash interview…
Read MoreTrump Takes Up Meditation to Cope with Kamala-Induced Stress
Liv N. LargeIn a surprising and somewhat comical twist, Donald Trump has reportedly turned to meditation to manage his growing anxiety over…
Read MoreFuture Olympians? USA Scouts School Therapy Sessions for Shooting Talent
In a move that’s as controversial as it is desperate, the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) has announced an unorthodox…
Read MoreThe USA Switches Sides in War on Terror, as Netanyahu Declared Terrorist
In a surprising twist that could have significant geopolitical ramifications, Pakistan has officially declared Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a…
Read MoreIron Dome Takes Home Defense Too Literally, Strikes Israeli Cities
In a scenario that sounds more like a dark comedy than a military report, Israel’s Iron Dome defense system recently…
Read MoreSouth Korea Deadnamed at Olympic Games
In a move that left the world wondering if Olympic organizers were playing a cruel joke or simply geographically challenged,…
Read MoreTrump Seen Shopping for Shrapnel-proof Vests
In what can only be described as a bold, albeit peculiar, move, former President Donald Trump was recently spotted shopping…
Read MoreMusk Declares Twitter Revenue Loss an ‘Intentional Strategy to Promote Anti-Consumerism’
In a move that has left Wall Street analysts and Twitter users equally bewildered, Elon Musk announced that the platform’s…
Read MoreDutch Government Introduces Revolutionary Plan to Solve Housing Crisis by Redefining Cargo Bikes as Apartments
Amsterdam, Netherlands – In a move set to revolutionize urban living and possibly redefine the very concept of “home,” the…
Read MoreKamala Harris Aims to Overshadow Trump With WWE Debut
Vice President Kamala Harris has announced her intention to enter WWE, aiming to outshine former President Donald Trump’s infamous WWE…
Read MoreMiddle-Eastern Terrorist Arrives to Speak to Congress and White House
In a baffling display of international relations, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, widely criticized and labeled a “Middle-Eastern terrorist” by…
Read MorePolice Implement ‘Shoot First, Ask Questions Later’ Policy for Calls from Black Neighborhoods
In an open acknowledgment of existing biases, police departments across the nation have started implementing a controversial new policy: “Shoot…
Read MoreElon Musk Contributes $45 Million for Trump to Reduce Electric Car Numbers
In a bewildering twist that seems to defy logic and history, Elon Musk has pledged $45 million to support Donald…
Read MorePolice Urge Citizens to Defend Themselves as Calling 911 Now Considered a High-Risk Activity
In a surprising and unsettling development, police departments nationwide have started advising citizens to think twice before calling 911, citing…
Read More